Let Them Think
by ravinraven12
Summary: Tony/Gibbs slash, light slash, but it's there.  Started out as a tag to 'Leap of Faith' but has turned into several and I plan to do more.  These are mostly from either Tony or Gibbs points of view pertaining to certain episodes.
1. Tag to Leap of Faith

**Disclaimer : **I don't own NCIS, I don't make any money from this story, so please don't sue.

**Summary : **I watched 'Leap of Faith' today and this idea popped into my head. Basically a slashy turn at the end of the episode, I feel bad for Tony, he's never appreciated by the team. So this is just his possible musings at the end of the day when he goes over to spend time with Gibbs.

**Warnings : ** This has slash, if you don't like, don't read, that is all. Tony's a bit whiny in this, sorry, but really I think that he's under appreciated a lot.

**A/N : **I think I may continue this, let me know what you think, thanks.

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><p>Tony sat in front of Gibbs house staring at the mostly dark building, contemplating. He had known the other man for seven years now and he still sometimes wondered about his place on the team.<p>

He had been more annoyed by the conversation he, McGee and Ziva had had earlier, the one about Abby being Gibbs favorite. He knew that Abby had been around a lot longer than he had, had been closer, he knew they had a father/daughter relationship but he thought he and Gibbs were close as well.

He knew that the team didn't take him seriously, when Gibbs had left, twice, he thought angrily, and he had been left in charge, they did nothing but compare him to Gibbs, and make comments about him not being Gibbs. Then the other man had come back, no warning, just had been there one day and no one had let him know and then Jenny had offered him his own team, though it was in Spain, and he had declined because he couldn't leave the other man.

He often stayed behind, worked on cold case files, followed leads, made sure paperwork was done, made sure people weren't overworking themselves, but no one appreciated him, not even Gibbs. Maybe he should have taken the job in Spain he thought, he worked his ass off and he got nothing in return, it had been his idea in the first place about the wife, though it had been Abby who had done the work. He sighed and ran a hand over his face, again staring at the house in front of him, debating further about if he should go in.

"DiNozzo!" a voice, accompanied by a loud bang on his window, made Tony jump and he turned and saw Gibbs standing there, watching him. "Are you going to sit out here all night?" the other man asked him and Tony sighed.

"Was thinking about it," he replied, opening the door, grabbed the beer out of the passenger seat and climbed out as soon as Gibbs stood back. Gibbs didn't respond but turned on his heel and led the way inside, leaving the door open for Tony to follow. Tony stood on the threshold, turning back towards his car for a moment.

"DiNozzo, either come in or leave, you're letting the heat out!" Gibbs yelled from inside and Tony sighed and walked in, closing the door behind him. When he turned, he found Gibbs standing right there where he grabbed the beer and headed towards the kitchen. "Sit down," he commanded before putting the beer in the fridge after taking two out.

Tony walked in and sat down on the couch, leaning his arms on his knees and ran a hand through his hair.

"Is that conversation bothering you that much?" Gibbs asked, handing him a beer as he took a seat next to him.

"What conversation?" Tony asked, looking at his boss.

"Abby being my favorite," Gibbs said, taking a sip of his beer and Tony huffed out a laugh.

"Is there anything you don't know about?" Tony asked, looking towards the TV where he saw a ball game on.

"No," was the simple reply and Tony shook his head. "Tony," the older man said, sitting forward, close to the other man, "Abby is one of my favorites," he said and Tony snorted.

"Sure," he said and Gibbs leaned back and crossed his left foot over his knee, his arm across the back of the couch.

"Of course, McGee is my favorite geek, Ziva is my favorite Mossad operative, Ducky is my favorite ME and Abby is my favorite lab tech," Gibbs said, taking a sip of beer and Tony tried to ignore the obvious omission of his name.

"Ziva is the only Mossad operative you know," he muttered and Gibbs chuckled, causing Tony to look at him in shock.

"True," he nodded, taking another sip. "Hungry?" he asked, sitting forward and opening the pizza box sitting on the coffee table in front of them and Tony noticed it was his favorite. Tony looked down at the pizza, up at the TV then the man sitting next to him. A smile spread across his face as he picked up a piece of pizza and a plate before leaning back against Gibbs and taking a bite. "Don't get anything on the couch," the older man said, wrapping his arm around Tony's shoulders and pulling him closer.

"Do I ever?" he asked, his mouth full, face turned up towards the older man. Gibbs smiled before dropping a kiss on Tony's lips.

"No, I've got you trained well," Gibbs said rubbing a hand up and down his arm. Tony grinned before popping the rest of his pizza in his mouth. He put the plate on the table before leaning back, Abby had received roses for her efforts, but he now knew he was appreciated.

Let them think that Abby was Gibbs favorite, Tony knew better.

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><p>Short but sweet, let me know.<p> 


	2. Tag to Requim

I decided after seeing 'Requiem' again I decided to continue this fic. It's pretty sappy, and a little OOC, but let me know what you think, thanks. :)

**Lolenone :** Thank you for your review, very nice of you to say. :)

**AmyH : **Thank you for your review, I'm glad you liked it.

**Warnings : **Mentions of drunk driving, not that I condone that, promise. Also mentions of Tony in a tub nekked and Gibbs outside of tub, not nekked. Nothing explicit, just fluff. Also, M/M! Don't like, don't read.

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><p>Tony was pissed, no he was beyond pissed as he drove towards Gibbs house, an open bottle of beer in the passenger seat, he knew if he got pulled over he was screwed, but he didn't care. He took turns at break-neck speeds, the rain on the roads making him slide across the pavement, he was lucky he had a professional driver as his teacher at sixteen. He pulled into Gibbs driveway and past it onto the grass and threw the car into park before pushing the door open and stumbling out. He slipped, grabbing onto the door frame before he fell and righted himself before closing the door. Turning unsteadily, thinking that maybe drinking heavily before he walked in the rain was a bad idea. He made his way up the stairs and pounded on the door, not caring for a minute that it might be unlocked.<p>

A moment later, the door opened and Gibbs stood there, not looking surprised to see his senior field agent standing there.

"You are a bastard," Tony said, his voice slurred slightly and Gibbs raised an eyebrow. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he cried a moment later, his voice rising in pitch and he took a wild swing which the other man easily sidestepped. Gibbs grabbed his arm and spun him around, shoving him against the wall.

"I'm going to ignore the fact that you just attacked your senior officer, DiNozzo," Gibbs said, leaning against the other man, pinning him to the wall, "and ask you what the hell you're doing here?"

"I came to tell you you're a bastard," Tony spat, struggling to get free, "now that I've done that, I'm leaving," he said but Gibbs didn't let him move.

"You're drunk, you're lucky I don't take you down to NCIS and throw you in a cell and let you sleep it off."

"Why don't you then? You obviously don't give a shit about anyone except yourself. Go on Gibbs, do it," Tony spat, pushing against him again and Gibbs sighed, resting his head against Tony's wet shoulder.

"Tony," he started but was shoved backwards as soon as the name left his mouth.

"Don't," the other man said, his voice barely above a whisper, "you didn't let anyone know where you were going, you're lucky that McGee is as good as he is or you'd be dead." Gibbs noticed how Tony had used Tim's real name and knew he was serious. "Do you know what it was like to pull your lifeless body out of the water? To try to revive you and know that I had to worry about trying to revive Maddie while wanting to do nothing but make sure you lived. You made me choose between you Gibbs, and I know you, you would have wanted me to make sure she was alright before you." Tony dropped his head back against the wall, trying to push back the tears and anger and to stop the world from spinning. "You're a bastard," he said quietly, again looking at Gibbs, not trying to stop the tears this time, he was exhausted, angry and cold.

"Come on Tony," Gibbs said, taking Tony's arm and pulling him further into the house and noticed for the first time that Tony was shaking hard. "Damn it Tony, let's get you into the shower," he said pulling Tony up the stairs to his room and into his bathroom, Tony went along without protest. Once they were in the bathroom, Gibbs closed the door and started to pull the jacket from his shoulders and stopped.

"Tony, is this the suit you were wearing earlier?" he asked, taking a closer look and for the first time noticed the smell from the river and he pulled back, his eyes flashing in anger. "What the hell DiNozzo?" he snapped jerking the jacket from his arms before working on the shirt.

"I don't know," Tony said, sounding completely lost and stood there as Gibbs removed his clothes before he was pushed down on the side of the tub as Gibbs turned on the tap.

"Do I have to remind you that you're susceptible to pneumonia?"

"No Gibbs, you don't need to remind me," Tony said, coming back to himself and pushed the older man away, not wanting to mention the fact that his chest was feeling a bit tight.

"Did Ducky check you out?" the older man asked, stepping back and staring at his agent, his eyebrow raised and Tony closed his eyes in guilt. "Get in," he said pointing to the mostly full tub before he turned to leave the bathroom. Grabbing the phone from the cradle in the kitchen he dialed the number to his friend and co-worker, his fingers jabbing a bit harshly.

"Ducky, I need you to come over," he said and hung up, knowing that Ducky would understand before he grabbed a towel and went back to the bathroom to find Tony leaning his head on the back of the tub. He stopped in the doorway and watched his agent, noticing the dark circles under his eyes and that he had lost some weight. He knew that the younger man had been through a lot this year, with him abandoning him as well as forgetting their relationship for a long while after he came back. He moved further into the room and pulled a stool over and sat next to the tub before running a hand through the younger man's hair.

"Tony," he said quietly, receiving a low hum in response and he chuckled. "It's not good to fall asleep in the tub, we don't need you drowning." At that, Tony's eyes snapped open, a hard stare at the other man and Gibbs grimaced. "Bad choice of words," he said and helped the other to sit up. "Warm yet?" he asked, knowing that he himself had soaked in the tub after he had made sure everyone was safe, though he wouldn't admit it to anyone.

"I don't think I'll be warm again," Tony said, standing and Gibbs handed him a towel.

"Tony," Gibbs said, taking the younger man's face in his hands before kissing him briefly, "I'm fine, I'm not going anywhere."

"You've left before," Tony pointed out, resting his forehead on the other man's and closing his eyes.

"Tony, I'm not going anywhere," Gibbs reassured, hating that he the younger man had so many insecurities when it came to relationships, and he hadn't helped in that area at all. Tony wrapped his arms around the older man and pulled him close and took a deep breath. They stood there for a moment before a throat clearing behind them had Gibbs turning to see Ducky standing there.

"Come on Tony," Gibbs said, helping the other man out of the tub before handing him the towel to wrap around himself.

"Am I to understand, young Anthony, that you did not get yourself checked out as you promised?" the older man asked, pulling a stethoscope out of his bag. "Breath in," he instructed and Tony did so, with no comment, feeling the rattling in his chest when he breathed too deeply. Ducky took his temperature and checked a few more things before he put his equipment away.

"Well?" Gibbs asked, trying not to hover over Ducky's shoulder as he checked his agent out.

"There is some water in your lungs, your temperature is a little high and your throat looks a little red; we'll need to monitor it carefully," Ducky said, pulling out a prescription bottle filled with pills in it and handed it to Gibbs. "You know how this works," he said and the other man nodded. "I'll be back tomorrow to check on you. Feel better," he said, squeezing Tony's knee before he left the room, patting Gibbs arm on the way out.

"Thanks Duck," Tony called as the M.E. left, Gibbs followed to show him to the door and Tony removed the towel and climbed under the covers, pulling them to his chin. A moment later, Gibbs returned and undressed before climbing in next to Tony. Tony moved around and draped himself over the older man's body, tangling his legs with the other man's.

"Stay," Tony mumbled, resting his head on Gibbs shoulder, his favorite spot as he started to drop off.

"Not going anywhere," Gibbs promised again, kissing the younger man's forehead, feeling the heat coming off of it before closing his eyes.


	3. Tag to SWAK

Ok, so this is a tag to 'SWAK', just Gibbs taking care of Tony afterwards. Anyway, this was supposed to be about Tony and Gibbs, but I threw in a big dose of Anthony DiNozzo Sr. and I made him kind of a dick so I hope that went through ok, let me know. I have an idea of how to bring it around to where they are on better terms than what I give here to where they are when DiNozzo Sr. shows up in the show, I may go into that later. Also, Gibbs is quite a bit OOC and it's pretty cheesy, so please forgive me. I was also thinking of doing a tag to 'Bury Your Dead' but with a POV of everyone with Gibbs being the last and tying things into chapter 2 a bit. Let me know if anyone is interested. Thanks and enjoy!

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><p>Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs looked to the passenger side of his car at the sleeping form and sighed, feeling exhausted, but knowing the other man was much more so. He reached out a hand, hating to wake him, but he had to get Tony inside, sleeping in the car was not an option.<p>

"Tony," he said quietly, gently shaking Tony's shoulder and received a cough in return. After a week in the hospital and coming back from death's door, Tony had been tired of the hospital and had begged Dr. Pitt to release him, something he had done reluctantly, into Gibbs' care. "Tony, we're here," he said, shaking his shoulder again.

"Boss?" he asked opening his eyes slowly and looked up at the building in front of him as he rubbed his eyes.

"Come on Tony," Gibbs said, turning off the car and stepping out to walk around the car to the other man's side before opening the door for him. Tony climbed out slowly, his body still exhausted from his bout with the plague and walked into the house, Gibbs following closely behind him. Tony made his way towards the couch but Gibbs' hand on his elbow stopped him and he turned in question.

"Bedroom," Gibbs said, leading him down the hallway, past the guest bedroom to the master.

"Jet?" Tony asked confused and Gibbs ignored him while pushing Tony onto the large king sized bed.

"You're staying in here where I can keep an eye on you," Gibbs said, bending down to pull off Tony's shoes.

"Gibbs, I can…" he started to say but was interrupted by a coughing fit that left him gasping.

"You were saying?" the other man asked, looking up, an eyebrow raised as he pulled off his right shoe and stood, placing both by the bed.

"God this sucks," Tony said, leaning against the stack of pillows that Gibbs had arranged, since lying down aggravated his lungs and made it hard to breath.

"Well from now on, you're not allowed to open any mail that is from any unknown person," Gibbs said, sitting down next to his senior field agent as he yawned widely.

"I agree," Tony said, his eyes closing tiredly. "Man, it feels like I could sleep for a year," he said, burrowing further into the pillows.

"Get some rest, I'm going to go out and get your medicine," Gibbs said, running a hand through Tony's hair and kissing his forehead, noticing that it was slightly warm, before standing. He stared down at the other man for a long moment, noticing that his breathing had evened out somewhat, though there was a slight rasp to it before turning and leaving the room. He mindlessly walked out to the car and pulled out the bag of medications before returning to the house. Once inside, he got a glass of water and walked back to the bedroom and placed it on the night table and left again, leaving the door opened slightly so he could hear Tony if he was needed.

He walked into the kitchen and started the coffee maker and stood there for a long moment, staring at the machine as if to make it go faster. He was still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that he had almost lost Tony. Hell they worked in a job that was dangerous, every day they could die from some nut job, but who knew that Tony would contract the plague.

On the drive back from the lab where he had been told that Tony had only had a fifteen percent chance to live, fear had gripped his heart. Knowing that he may never see his grin or hear his stupid jokes and movie references had made him short of breath. He had decided there and then on the way to the hospital that Tony would not die, he wouldn't allow him. When he had walked in and found Kate crying on Ducky's shoulder about Tony dying, his resolve had hardened further until he was ordering Tony to live.

Thinking back, the memories brought up a lot of things that he didn't really want to think about, how he was tired of the thing between them being casual. He had wanted to move things into the serious category for a while now, but didn't know how to bring it up. Especially when there were women calling Tony looking for 'Spanky', he really hoped that it was some kind of joke, or he and Tony were going to have a long talk. Once the coffee was done, he pulled a cup out and poured some in and taking a sip.

He jumped slightly when his cell phone rang from his pocket and he pulled it out, barely recognizing the number placing the cup on the counter.

"Gibbs," he barked into the phone, having an idea of who was on the other end.

"Mr. Gibbs?" a female voice replied and Gibbs blinked in surprise.

"This is he," he said, wondering who this woman was and ignoring the urge to make her call him 'agent'.

"Please hold for Mr. DiNozzo," she said and he heard a click and he couldn't help but shake his head at the whole thing.

"Mr. Gibbs, how are you this morning?" a chipper voice came on the line a moment later and Gibbs grit his teeth.

"I'm tired Mr. DiNozzo, why haven't you returned my calls before now?" he demanded, at his wits end with the man who had not called back and had only gotten the runaround when he called.

"I'm a very busy man Mr. Gibbs," DiNozzo Sr. replied, his voice hinting at annoyance, if not anger.

"And your son was dying," Gibbs snapped, already disgusted with the man.

"You say 'was', I assume that he is no longer, correct?" the question came back and had Gibbs standing there for a full minute, shocked. "I also know Mr. Gibbs that I am not listed as next of kin, not even an emergency contact, so I assume that he would not have wanted me to know." Gibbs wasn't sure how the man knew that, but not long after Tony had started to work with Gibbs; he had named the older man his next of kin and emergency contact.

"I guess that tells me something about you, not wanting to know that your only child is dying then," Gibbs said through gritted teeth and the other man laughed.

"Tony made it quite clear when I disowned him that he wanted nothing further to do with me, Mr. Gibbs and I have tried to honor his wishes."

"You disowned him when he was twelve, of course he wanted nothing to do with you, you abandoned him." Gibbs realized that he was waging a losing battle, the other man would never listen to reason, and the situation made his blood boil.

"He could have been great, but he busted his knee in college and instead of choosing a career, he went into law enforcement."

"I'll have you know," Gibbs said, his voice low and dangerous, "that your son is one of the finest law enforcement officers I've ever had the privilege to work with."

"Is that all Mr. Gibbs, I understand that he is alive and well?" the other man asked arrogantly and Gibbs hand tightened on the phone.

"Yes, and that's _Agent_ Gibbs to you," he snapped and shut the phone angrily and placed it on the counter next to the coffee maker.

"That my dad?" a voice from behind him asked and Gibbs spun on his heel to see Tony standing there, a blanket around his shoulders.

"Yeah, he finally called back," Gibbs said, turning back to grab his cup of coffee and turned back when Tony started coughing. "Sit," he said pointing to the table and Tony followed orders for once and after a moment, Gibbs placed a glass of water in front of him.

"I could have told you that was how that conversation was going to go," Tony pointed out and Gibbs threw him a dirty look.

"I don't care if you don't talk to him Tony, he should be concerned about you." Tony coughed into his fist for a moment before taking a drink of water.

"I do talk to him, or at least try," he said, leaning his head on the table, "every year at Christmas, I call him, most of the time he's 'busy' or doesn't answer or call back. I don't know why I keep trying." Gibbs stared at Tony for a long moment, not knowing how to address this issue, he wasn't even close to being a therapist so he opted for being overprotective.

"Did you take your medicine?"

"Yes mom," Tony mocked and took a sip of water. Gibbs glared and sat down across from him, watching him intently. "What?" Tony asked after a moment, feeling exposed by the stare.

"I want you to move in," Gibbs said and Tony blinked a few times.

"Sorry, I think I heard you wrong," Tony said, using his pinkie finger to clean out his ear.

"You didn't hear me wrong DiNozzo," Gibbs snapped reaching out and taking the other man's hand and Tony stared at him for a long moment.

"Is this because of my dad?" he asked stupidly and Gibbs rolled his eyes.

"I've been thinking about this for a while now Tony, I'm serious and it has nothing to do with your father."

"It's because I almost died, isn't it?"

"Tony, yes, I was worried, but I really have been thinking seriously about this long enough."

"Jet, we're fuck buddies, have been for three years now. How long is a while?" he asked, his brow furrowing.

"I don't know, six months," Gibbs said, leaning back in his chair and letting go of the other man's hand.

"Six months?" Tony asked, pausing to cough a few times, "and you're only bringing this up now?"

"You can just say no DiNozzo," Gibbs replied dryly.

"That's not it; I just can't believe this is happening, hell, I'm half tempted to think this is some plague induced dream. I mean, you never seemed to want to be serious with me, you married your last ex-wife while we were doing whatever we've been doing for Pete's sake."

"I apologized for that," Gibbs defended himself and Tony rolled his eyes, coughing heavily into his hand for a moment.

"What would everyone else think?" he asked once he was able to breathe again.

"I don't care what they think," Gibbs said, running a hand over his face.

"I do Jet, I'm sure that Abby and Ducky already suspect something, and Kate is starting to think something is up, but what about the director? Jet, if they knew, officially, they'd probably separate us and I wouldn't be able to watch your six, I don't like that idea."

"I can take care of myself Tony," Gibbs growled and the other man grinned.

"I know you can, but I like to make sure of that myself, I can't expect anyone else to, Kate is getting there, but she's not there yet and probably won't be for a long time, if ever."

"Fine," Gibbs said, standing up and picking up his almost full cup of coffee and taking it to the sink.

"Jethro, that doesn't mean I don't appreciate the offer, and if things were different, I wouldn't hesitate to jump at the chance," Tony said, trying to soothe things over. "Would you settle for exclusive for now?" he asked walking up to the other man and wrapping his arms around his waist.

"No more one night stands?" the other man asked, turning in his agent's arms and smiled when Tony rested his head on his shoulder.

"Jet, there haven't been any one night stands in a very long time, you've been it," the other man said quietly and the older man blinked.

"You sure talk about them a lot," he pointed out and Tony pulled back.

"That's all it's been, talk," he said before leaning forward and kissing him lightly on the mouth before pulling back and coughing.

"Come on Tony," Gibbs pushed the other man back gently and led him to the room before stripping them both down to their boxers and climbing into the bed and leaning Tony against his chest.

"You can't sleep like this," Tony pointed out, "it will kill your back."

"I'll live," Gibbs said, running a hand through his agent's hair soothingly as he felt the younger man yawn. "Sleep Tony," he said quietly, dropping a kiss to the top of his head.

"No more redheads?" Tony mumbled and Gibbs chuckled.

"No more redheads, unless you're willing to dye your hair," he replied and Tony laughed.

"No chance in hell," he mumbled and slowly drifted to sleep.

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><p>There, is it as horrible as I think? Please let me know. Thanks!<p> 


	4. Tag to Singled Out

Ok, this is a Tag to Singled Out, I put some of the episode dialogue in there but at the same time I changed a bit of it, some the time of the day and what not as well. Hope you enjoy, and let me know thanks! I thought I would respond to reviews. :)

**lilz54 : **I'm glad you are enjoying this and I hope you continue to enjoy them.

**BellaHickenbottom : **I'm glad you like the idea of Bury your dead, and that DiNozzo Sr. wasn't too much and I agree about having moments in each episode where I could turn it into a slashy twist.

**gala****xia1983 : **The sentence was fine. :) Thank you for your review.

**Jebeth : **Yes, yes I am going to continue. :)

**wscaster : **I'm glad you like the chapters, and hope you like this one.

**Kitty Black Cat** **: **I'm glad you liked Tony taking a swing at Gibbs and the rest of the chapters.

**AmyH : **I'm glad you enjoyed.

**Lolenone : **Thank you for your review and I'm glad you like my writing.

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><p>Tony left the director's office and stopped at the railing, watching the team below him as Ziva and McGee argued over something, and Gibbs who was pretending to ignore them both as he stared at his computer. He leaned against the railing and smiled as Gibbs barked at them both after a moment and chuckled. If he left, Senior Field Agent would fall to McGee by default or Ziva with her experience and he wondered if he could trust them to watch Gibbs six. He trusted them both, but he had known Gibbs longer and much more intimately than the other two, not that he had been close to the older man since the explosion. Tony sighed as he ran a hand over his face, Jenny had been right, he knew, if he turned this down, another chance may not come up for years. Could he give up this chance? Did he really want to stay and hold out for something that would probably never happen again? His brain screamed 'no, leave, don't torture yourself' and told him that he should turn around and say yes to the director. His heart, on the other hand, couldn't help but hope Gibbs would wake up one day and remember everything. He knew that he was hoping for something that would never happen but something was holding out, wishing that Gibbs would one day look at him as he used to.<p>

He looked over the team again and found that Gibbs was now staring at him and he grinned before he stood straight and made his way down the stairs. As he walked down, his cell rang and he opened it and brought it to his ear.

"DiNozzo," he said and suppressed the sigh at who was on the other end, "stop calling me from Dispatch, will you Mulvaney? I'm not the team leader anymore, Gibbs is," he said, his voice hinting at annoyance, listening to the reply. "Trust me, it makes a difference," he finished and hung up as he rounded the bottom of the stairs, ignoring Ziva's quip about a 'problem' and reached for his things as Gibbs' phone rang.

Once the case was over later that week, Tony sat back in his chair, having finished his paperwork a few minutes before and again watched his team. Both McGee and Ziva were still working on theirs and Gibbs was concentrating on his computer. He had to make a decision by tomorrow and he didn't know what his answer was going to be. He couldn't see leaving them, but at the same time, there was an ache in his chest when it came to the idea of his own team and no one stepping in to take it back. Standing quickly, he decided he needed to get out of the room and made his way towards the elevator and barely turned back when Gibbs asked where he was going.

"To see Abby," he said over his shoulder and entered the elevator and pressed down for the lab and entered quickly to Abby's loud music.

"Abby!" he called loudly and smirked as Abby jumped and turned around.

"Tony!" she cried throwing her arms around his neck and turned down the music at the same time. "What do I owe this pleasure?"

"I just wanted to come say hi," Tony said, sitting down in her chair and she turned to watch him closely, leaning against her table and folding her arms.

"What's up?" she asked, turning off the music completely, seeing something wrong right away with her second favorite agent.

Tony had wanted to talk to someone since Jenny had offered him his own team but wasn't sure who and then the case had become intense and hadn't found the time. Now as he sat there staring at one of his best friends, he felt everything bubbling up until it spilled out of his mouth. Abby sat and listened as he told her about the pain he was bottling up inside because of Gibbs and his frustration. He told her how hurt he had been with McGee's comment about having his own team and how he had felt underappreciated since Gibbs had left and how he hated that he felt that way. He told her about being angry with Gibbs coming back and not telling him, just moving his stuff back to his old desk. And lastly he told her about the job offer and how tempted he was to walk away from it all and leave them all behind. Once he was done, he took a deep breath and lifted his head to look at Abby who was staring at him, shocked. She had known about Tony and Gibbs before the explosion, as she had walked in on them about a year after Tony had contracted Y-Pestis so she wasn't surprised about that but she was about the offer.

"What do you think?" Tony asked finally after she had been quiet for several minutes and she sighed.

"I think you should do what you need to do Tony," she said quietly, "I would hate to see you go, but if you need to move on to get past everything, no one would blame you for leaving."

"So I'm not crazy to want to take this?" he asked and Abby smiled at him gently.

"You'd be crazy _not_ to want to take it. When do you need to let the director know?"

"Tomorrow," he said, running his hands through his hair and scratched at his scalp.

"Well good, I'm planning on a 'Welcome Back Gibbs' party tonight at his place, come, hang out, get drunk, and go home, sleep on it and you can give her your answer once you've recovered enough tomorrow," she said grinning at him.

"Does Gibbs know about this party?" he asked, returning her grin.

"Not yet, but he will," she said, turning back to her equipment. "It's at seven and I'll expect you to be there early to help set up," she said throwing him a look over her shoulder as he stood to leave.

"I'll be there," he said, kissing her cheek and left the room, feeling somewhat better.

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><p>Tony passed Abby on his way to the kitchen she on her way to the family room carrying a bowl of dip in preparation for Gibbs 'Welcome Back Gibbs' party and smiled. He walked through the kitchen doorway and cast a quick glance at the man standing at the sink preparing burgers for the grill. He still wasn't sure how Abby had talked him into letting them have the part at his house, but then Abby had her own way with Gibbs.<p>

"The grill is ready," Tony said, walking to the fridge and grabbing a beer before opening it and leaning against the counter, receiving a grunt in response. Something had been off all day with Gibbs, and Tony wondered if he knew about the offer of his own team, but the only two who knew were Abby and Jenny. He raised an eyebrow and drank the rest of the beer before throwing it in the recycling bin. He reached around Gibbs to grab the plate full of raw burger meat but Gibbs hand shot out and grabbed his wrist.

"When were you planning on telling me you were leaving?" the older man asked and Tony blinked, pulling his arm free after a moment of shock.

"I guess once I made a decision," Tony said a moment later leaning against the counter next to the other man.

"Have you?" was the short question and Tony thought about it for a long moment, he still wasn't sure about it.

"I don't know," he replied finally and Gibbs turned to look at him.

"What's to think about Tony?" the other man shot at him, "you either go or you stay, it's not that hard of a decision."

"Not true Gibbs," Tony shot back, "I don't know if I want to leave the team, if I'm ready to leave and I have to decide if I want to move to Spain."

"Spain?" Gibbs asked, seeming surprised.

"Yeah, the offer of my own team requires me to move to Spain," Tony said, crossing his arms. They stared at each other for a long moment; both assessing and finally Gibbs moved over and leaned against the opposite counter.

"What do you think?" Tony asked, wanting the other man's opinion on the matter.

"I think you would do well," he said, shrugging, "you did a great job while I was gone." Tony snorted at this and the other man raised an eyebrow.

"Gibbs, all I heard after you left was 'You're not Gibbs', I got no respect, and when you came back, I could see the relief in their eyes. They were all holding their breath, waiting for me to screw up."

"I did hear that you acted like me while I was gone," Gibbs said and Tony clenched his jaw, wondering who had told him that.

"I was trying to give them a sense of normalcy, after you left, without talking to any of us, asking what we thought, I figured that they would appreciate it, but I was wrong. Then you came back, not once, but twice, not only that, but the first time, when you left, you didn't even say goodbye." Tony was glaring at him now and breathing heavily as the other man stood there, staring at him impassively.

"I didn't think you needed a goodbye from me, DiNozzo," the other man's voice was low and annoyed.

"I didn't Gibbs," Tony said, lying through his teeth.

"Are you really that upset about my coming back?" the other man shot at him and Tony's glare intensified.

"Yes," he snapped, "I had no warning and you just come back, move my things back to my desk, not one damn word, _boss_," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm and the other man stood straight.

"I thought you told Jenny you had no problem with it." Tony blinked at this and wondered if she had told him about the job offer as well.

"I thought I didn't, but how would you feel if the roles were reversed?"

"Hey you two," Abby said, stepping into the room at that moment and looked between them, "come on, this is a party, no fighting," she said taking Tony's arm and pulled him out of the room, throwing a glare at Gibbs.

"I'm leaving Abs," Tony said quietly as she pushed him down the hall and heard her sigh as she pushed him into a chair and turned to Tim who was standing there.

"Go get the burgers and take them out to the grill," she barked and he jumped and turned towards the kitchen.

"Don't worry about it," Gibbs said, walking down the hall, the plate of meat in his hand as he stepped out on to the deck in back.

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><p>Later that night, he was lying on his bed, the room dark and staring at the ceiling as he tried to sleep when his phone rang. Turning over, he grabbed the phone and looked at the display to see it read 'Gibbs' and he contemplated ignoring it but changed his mind and flipped open the phone, just in case.<p>

"DiNozzo," he said and rolled back into his pillows and covered his eyes with his hand.

"I'd be pissed," was the response and Tony took a moment to realize what the other man was talking about, the alcohol fuddling his mind. Tony chuckled and threw his arm back but kept his eyes closed.

"I'm glad to hear it," he said quietly and there was a long quiet moment where he listened to the other man breathe.

"I'd hate to see you go, Tony, but I understand if you need to leave, you deserve your own team, I'll survive with Cait and McGee," the other man finally said and Tony closed his eyes.

"Ziva," he gently corrected and there was another long moment of silence.

"Right, Ziva," the other man said and Tony sighed. "I just thought I'd call and let you know, I'm proud of you, you're an amazing agent and deserve this chance."

"Do you want me to go?" Tony asked and there was a laugh at the other end.

"I won't stop you from going Tony; you have to decide ultimately, you shouldn't bank on anyone else's opinion." Tony sighed, of all of the people's opinions he could listen to, Gibbs was the one that mattered most, though he wouldn't say that, at least not to him anyway. "I mean, everyone would miss you," the other man said, surprising Tony, that being the closest to the other man saying he'd miss him and didn't want him to go.

"Would you miss me?" he asked before he could stop himself and the other man stopped breathing for a moment.

"Yeah Tony, I'd miss you," was the quiet response and Tony swallowed hard.

"Okay," he said, not sure what else to say.

"Well we should get some sleep," the other man said again after a moment and Tony smiled.

"Yeah, boss, I'll see you tomorrow," he said quietly.

"Night Tony," was the response and he heard the click on the other end of the line and he closed the phone, placed it on the night table before he rolled over to sleep.

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><p>Tony felt Gibbs watching him several times throughout the next day and Abby came up more often than usual to check but he didn't approach the director's door until everyone had left and he was alone. Standing, he walked up the stairs and knocked on the door and entered when the director called for him to come in.<p>

"How did you know it was me?" he asked, looking around the room to see if she had had a window installed since he had been in there last.

"Because your deadline passed hours ago," she pointed out and he walked in, closing the door behind him, crossing the room to stand before her.

"I've made my decision," he stated as she looked up at him.

"And I respect it," was the response, "sometimes I wish I made the same one myself."

"But I passed on the promotion Jenny," he pointed out.

"I know."

"How?" he asked and she sighed.

"To get here, in this office, especially as a woman, my career has been on the fast track my entire life. Between you and me, I wish I had taken it a little slower. Plus, your dedication to your team is admirable."

"So you're not disappointed?" he asked, chuckling a little bit.

"No. Actually, I'm feeling a bit proud at the moment," she said and Tony 'hmmed' in response. "Go home and get some sleep," she said and he turned and walked toward the door but turned back.

"Listen, this wouldn't be the right time to bring up the possibility of a performance award or…" he trailed off at her smirk.

"Good night Tony," she said and he turned towards the door again.

"Right, night Jenny," he said and walked out.

As he walked down the stairs, he noticed a figure standing by his desk and he sighed as he rounded the bottom step and stood before his boss.

"You turned it down," the other man said and Tony shrugged.

"Had to boss," Tony said, stepping around him and gathering his things. "I'm needed here." He started walking towards the elevators and Gibbs fell into step beside him and stepped into the elevator when the doors opened. The ride down to the garage was quiet and they separated as they both headed towards their cars.

"DiNozzo," Gibbs called out as Tony opened his door.

"Yeah boss," he said, looking up.

"I'm glad," the other man said, smirking before climbing into his car and Tony stood there stunned for a long moment, watching as Gibbs' car drove away. Once he got over his shock, he grinned and climbed in, following the other man out of the garage.

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><p>Ok, so I've decided I'm going to go with Bury Your Dead but it's going to take some time cuz I'm going to write it from almost everyone's point of view. Hope you enjoyed.<p> 


	5. Tag to Bury Your Dead  Tim

Ok, here's the first in the 'Bury Your Dead' tags, it's mostly McGee's POV but for the most part it's almost everyone in there, next I think I'm either going to do Abby or Ziva, then Ducky and Gibbs, though Abby kinda gets her feelings out in this one. I was thinking of continuing through the entire episode, but I thought I should leave it where I did. I may go into the rest of the episode later and tie everything together after I do Gibbs bit, but I do plan to go up to the part where Tony walks in in Gibbs part and beyond that with everything between them, but I don't know about the rest. Let me know what you think. Thanks! Oh, also, Ziva is a bit OOC but hey, they thought they just lost Tony, deal with it. :) Oh and I reference, slightly, to a relationship between Tim and Abby.

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><p>The room had gone completely silent beyond the soft 'Tony' from Ziva and the 'oh my god' from the director. Gibbs had turned to stare at Jenny in shock, anger, wanting to lash out at the woman who had just assured him that his senior field agent was safe. The picture of the burning car on the screen in front of them said otherwise and Gibbs hated her at that moment. Gathering himself together though, he turned to his two stunned agents, clearing his throat twice before he was able to get words out.<p>

"Ziva," he said quietly and had to repeat her name before she turned to look at him, "go let Abby know," he said quietly and she blinked, looking back at the screen once before nodding to him. "Tim," he said, just as quietly and the young agent turned to him after a moment, unshed tears in his eyes, "inform Ducky that we'll need the van." McGee took a shuddering breath and blinked a couple of times, keeping his eyes trained on Gibbs as he nodded. Walking forward, Gibbs stopped next to his two agents and placed a hand on both of their shoulders before he quickly left the room, not able to watch the video any longer.

Ziva tore her eyes away from the screen and turned towards McGee and did something uncharacteristic of her and pulled him into a tight hug. The younger man was stiff in her arms for a moment before he relaxed and returned the hug just as tightly, both ignoring the director and techs who still lingered. Pulling back after a moment, Ziva pushed Tim to an arm's length away and stared into his red eyes, refusing to let her own tears fall.

"Go get Abby," she commanded quietly and the man's eyebrow's furrowed and Ziva smiled sadly. "She will take it better coming from you," she said logically and Tim nodded after a moment, seeing her reason. "I will go get Ducky," she said pulling him into another quick hug before throwing an angry look at the director and walking from the room.

McGee took one last look at the burning car on the screen before he too turned and walked out of MTAC, not sparing the director a glance. He felt as if he were in a trance as he walked down the stairs towards where the teams' desks were. Tony's was cluttered like always and he sucked in a breath at the thought of never seeing the other man there again.

He passed the desks without another glance and made his way to the elevator and pressed the 'down' button and waited impatiently for it to arrive. As he climbed on, his task finally set into his stunned mind and he wondered at how he was going to tell Abby. Reaching out he flipped the emergency stop and braced himself as the machine ground to a halt. He leaned against the wall of the elevator heavily, finding it hard to breathe suddenly and the tears he had fought before suddenly made their way down his cheeks.

Tony had driven him nuts, calling him McGeek and Probie and done everything in his power to drive him crazy, but he had been his friend and partner, no matter what. What was he going to do now? Tony was the only one who had been able to calm Gibbs down and make him smile when needed, without the other agent there, who would make them laugh and roll their eyes at stupid movie references and lame and dirty jokes? Who would come over to his house in the middle of the night during tough cases and make sure they both didn't get in too deep, keep Tim out of his own headspace? For all he made fun of Tim's 'Elf Lord' game, Tim had managed to get him hooked and whenever they were working a hard case, Tony came by and they did nothing but drink and play, now Tim didn't have that anymore.

Tim leaned against the wall for a few minutes before he stood and wiped the tears from his eyes, yes, Tony may have been gone, but they would bring him home, bury him as a hero and remember him always.

'_Then again,'_ he thought, '_it may not be him.' _It was a comforting thought, but until Ducky said otherwise, he had to think of Tony as dead. He reached out and started the elevator and braced himself for the conversation he would have to have with Abby.

When he exited the elevator and moved towards the lab, he was met with silence and that was his first clue that something was wrong and when he entered the lab he found Abby watching the clip of Tony's car blowing up over and over again.

"Abby," he said, moving forward quickly as to stop her but her voice stopped him in his tracks.

"It's not him," she said, her voice quiet and hard as steel.

"Abby," he started again but she just restarted the footage where they first saw the car on the camera's and watched as the car drove down the street to the point where it blew up and stopped it. "Where did you get that?" he asked, walking up behind her.

"I know people," she stated but didn't restart the footage, just stood there and stared defiantly at the screen across from her. "It's not him."

"Abby, that was his phone in the car, the car is registered to his cover, all signs point to the fact that he was in that car," he said gently and Abby turned to him, her eyes red and angry but no tears on her cheeks.

"It's not him!" she yelled and Tim took a step back, "until you get the body back and onto Ducky's table and he proves it, it is not him!"

"Ok Abbs," he said, his hands up in a placating manner, "it's not him."

"Don't patronize me," she snapped, "go get the body so Ducky can prove what we already know," she said, pointing to the door and Tim sighed and turned on his heel, heading towards the door.

"Tim," a quiet and small voice called just as he reached the door and he turned to find himself with arms full of Abby who had a death grip around his neck. "Tell me it's not him," she said, a sob escaping her, "just lie to me for a minute and promise me he will walk in and tell us it's all a joke." Tim wrapped his arms tightly around the woman's back, one arm across her shoulders, the other holding her head to his shoulder. He buried his nose in her hair and inhaled deeply as he closed his eyes, pressing his lips to her head as she sobbed on his shoulder.

"It's not him," he said as convincingly as he could as he rested his chin on her head a moment later.

"Good," she said a moment later, pulling back and wiping her eyes with the heels of her hands giving him a watery smile. "Bring him home Timmy," she said, leaning forward and placing a quick kiss on his lips.

"We will Abbs," he said, squeezing her hand tightly before he turned again towards the door and finally left the lab, feeling like he had a mission now, something to focus on, other than the grief that threatened to cripple him, it was to bring Tony home.


	6. Tag to Bury Your Dead Ziva

Ok, I'm not sure I'm liking how this turned out, I do, kinda, but let me know what you think. I have rewritten this thing like five times, for some reason it was hard to get out. Next I'm going to do Ducky then Gibbs and then probably some pieces throughout the episode. Please review, tell me you hate it, love it, think I should never write again, whatever, I just like to hear back, especially when I'm not sure on how the chapter turned out. :) Thank you!

**lilz54 :** I'm glad you liked it, bringing tears is what I was kinda hoping for, this one probably won't but I found Ziva hard to write. But thank you for your reviews and I hope I can keep up the good work.

**Meilea2010 : **Glad you've liked it so far.

**BellaHickenbottom : **Yeah, the scene where they pull up was hard to watch, I agree, and I'm glad you liked the chapter, I don't think this one is as good, but let me know what you think.

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><p>Ziva left MTAC in a slight daze, confusion, anger and grief rolling through her entire being, making the walk to the stairs a distant memory. She didn't understand why she was feeling grief or anger, yes, Tony had been a friend, a partner, but she had lost countless friends, partners, lovers, hell even family. Ari was her own brother but she had killed him to save Gibbs because he was a traitor, she had grieved for him in her own way but had not regretted what she had done since.<p>

Perhaps it was the thought that though her father was the director of Mossad, NCIS was the first place in a long time that she could consider home, her team coming close to being a family. Gibbs was the father figure, willing to give out head slaps and advice when needed; maybe more head slaps than not, it had been a head slap that had helped bring back his memory after all. When they had almost lost Gibbs in that explosion and then he had come back, but with no memory of them, it was the first time in a long time that she had cried. She looked up to Gibbs, he was one of the strongest people she knew, and when she needed him, he had come back and she held him in the highest regard.

McGee was the younger brother she never had or knew she wanted, he was, what was the word, she thought, 'geeky'. He was smart and put up with Tony's crap better than most, looked out for his team and was one of the best computer people she had ever met. Though she had only been on the team for a couple of years, McGee was more than willing to help her with her English, it had been his idea for Scrabble and she was grateful.

Abby was… more like a cousin than a sister, they had become close over the years, though Abby had been bent on not liking her at first, they now had an understanding of each other. At first the Goth's ways had confused her, she didn't understand the urge to dress like that or to wear that much makeup, but she soon learned that was just what made Abby 'Abby' and she loved her for it.

Ducky was a good friend, with his age some would think that he was grandfatherly but that wasn't true at all in Ziva's eyes. Yes, he was older, but his wit and stories that he told made him one of her favorite's in this little family. She knew that sometimes his stories got on other's nerves, but she found them fascinating and sometimes if he was working late, she would stay, just to listen.

Then there was Tony, the thought of him made her stop in the stairwell and catch her breath as tears again threatened to fall. He was the brother –type, the annoying older brother that she saw sometimes in the American sitcoms she would deny until the day she died that she watched. He teased, told dirty jokes and made stupid references to movies no one ever saw, flirted with anything that moved and breathed, but he was theirs and he was a friend and close confidant.

When she had first arrived, she had been attracted to Tony DiNozzo with his flirting and mild innuendos but Abby had put a stop to that almost right away, telling her that he was taken. At first, she didn't believe it, any man who flirted that much couldn't be attached but as time went on, she noticed the small things. Yes he flirted but he never seemed to go home with any of the women, maybe once or twice he would go out to drinks, but the stories he told the next morning didn't add up. He boasted of taking women home, but as she listened and put pieces together, it didn't make sense. Well that and she had caught Tony and Gibbs making out once at Gibbs' house before the explosion. They didn't know she knew, she had confirmed it with Abby, just to make sure she hadn't been seeing things and now watched them like a hawk. Or she had until the explosion and Gibbs subsequent memory loss, including Tony and what they had had.

Ziva and everyone else on the team had watched Tony slowly break around the seams as he watched Gibbs in the coma then the cracks became more apparent with the memory loss. Ducky had told her that once it was apparent that Gibbs didn't remember him, Tony had moved all of his things out of the house, alone. Ducky was unaware of this until the younger agent called him for a place to stay because he had been living with Gibbs for almost a year now and had no place of his own. Ducky had opened his home gladly to Tony who was only there for about a month until he found a place but Ducky said he could tell the younger man was depressed. Ziva understood, Tony and Gibbs had been together, she understood, up until that point for seven years, three of them officially.

Once Gibbs left, Tony was in charge, with no more than a 'You'll do," from Gibbs, and they could all tell that Tony's smile was forced, but he put on a good show, as good as someone falling apart could anyway. As time went on, he fell into the leadership role with ease, trying his hardest to follow in Gibbs' shoes, being as Gibbs-like as he could be, the only thing Ziva could think of as to why was for the team. They all knew that pointing out that he wasn't Gibbs probably didn't help, but they wanted Tony back, not a Gibbs clone, but it seemed to help Tony a little so they didn't press the issue.

Then Gibbs came back, twice, and from Tony's reaction, he had had no idea that Gibbs had come back to stay the second time until they walked into the bullpen that morning to find everything rearranged. Ziva didn't think that anyone was more surprised than Tony; she thought he was a bit upset as well, not that she could have blamed him, having the team suddenly yanked from him. To add insult to injury, it was still clear that Gibbs didn't remember their relationship. Tony had soldiered on though, trying to ignore the pitying glances he received from almost everyone, especially his team.

Feeling bad, the night before, Ziva had invited Tony out to drinks at a bar, just to catch up as he seemed so wrapped up in this new relationship he was in that they had not talked in a while but he had not shown and now he was dead. The shock at finding out that Tony had been dating the daughter of La Grenouille was great. She knew that he had been undercover, but he should have come to them, he didn't have to give specifics, but Ziva could tell something was bothering him and now she wouldn't have the chance to talk to him again.

Taking a deep breath, Ziva stood straight from leaning against the wall and wiped at her cheeks before continuing down towards autopsy. As she stepped in through the doors, she saw Ducky across the room speaking with Palmer; at that point there were no bodies on the tables, so the doctor was not busy. She stared at the gray slabs of table with unseeing eyes, trying not to imagine Tony laying there but unable to stop the images and didn't notice when Palmer noticed her.

"Ziva?" the younger man's voice brought her back to the present and she looked up, not sure what expression was on her face, but it made Palmer's go white and he placed a hand on Ducky's shoulder, stopping his story. The older man turned towards her, took one look at her face and his visage went grim.

"Who?" was all he asked and Ziva started at the question, surprised that he seemed to know. She opened her mouth but found the words stuck in her throat and she felt the traitorous tears start again. Ducky was up and across the room before she could even take the next deep breath and pulled her into a tight hug, one she returned easily. "It's all right my girl, take your time," Ducky said gently, knowing it had to be someone close to them , as he rocked her back and forth.

"T-Tony," was the half-sobbed answer and Ducky froze, his own eyes tearing up and he closed them quickly, took a deep breath and pulled back.

"You're sure?" he asked, his voice only breaking slightly.

"He was undercover, he was in the car that was registered to that cover and it blew up," Ziva said, pulling herself together and taking a deep breath, wiping at the tears on her cheeks.

"All right my dear, go get the car, we will meet you at the scene," he said, pulling her into a tight hug again before pulling back.

"Thank you Ducky," Ziva said, giving him a watery smile before turning and heading towards the door.

"Oh, Ziva," Ducky's voice called and she turned back, "do you know where Jethro is?" Ziva furrowed her brow in thought.

"I think I saw him go into the men's room," she said, remembering vaguely that she saw him headed that way when she left MTAC.

"Thank you," the older man said and Ziva left the room, heading towards the garage, dreading what they had to do next.


	7. Tag to Bury Your Dead : Ducky

Ok, here's Ducky's POV, if you didn't get that from the title. :)

Thank you to lilz54, I'm glad you liked it, Ziva was hard like I said, but I'm glad someone liked it.

Meilea2010, I'm sorry you didn't like those last two chapters, hopefully this one will be better.

Thank you to those who just read but didn't review, thanks for checking this out anyway. Please review though, it lets me know how I'm doing. Oh and forgive my idea about how Ducky finds out about Tony/Gibbs if anyone has a problem, well too bad, it's done.

* * *

><p>"Anthony DiNozzo," the young man said, sticking his hand out, a bright grin on his face, "Baltimore PD."<p>

The first time that Donald "Ducky" Mallard had met Anthony DiNozzo, Gibbs had been giving him the tour of NCIS for the first time. Ducky was standing in his scrubs, wearing gloves covered in blood, standing over a body and found himself faced with a man unperturbed by that fact.

"Baltimore PD hmm?" he asked, forgoing the handshake until he pulled his gloves off, "if you're working here," he said jutting his chin at the 'Temporary' badge on his suit, "it will be Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, NCIS." If anything, Tony's grin had gotten bigger as he tilted his head to the side, as if thinking.

"No," he said, shaking his head, "it'll be _Very _Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, NCIS," he said and Ducky had laughed and pulled off his gloves and shook the offered hand still waiting in the air.

Anthony had been a whirlwind, so very different from Pacci, who had only survived Gibbs leadership for about two months, and Burley who was so goal minded but had lasted an astonishing five years. Tony was quick with the grins, the movie references and stories, he and Jethro clicked in an odd way that only they understood. Jethro balanced out Tony's absentmindedness and Tony kept Jethro from killing anyone, or anyone killing him. Tony fed Jethro's caffeine addiction; made sure he looked after himself and slept instead of staying up all night working on a boat and made sure paperwork was done. Jethro delivered head slaps to the younger man to keep his mind on track, made sure he ate on a regular basis and didn't do anything too stupid in the field.

Ducky had worried that Gibbs would never find a permanent team member, one who could put up with his bad temper and coffee addiction and stick around for longer than their stomach linings could hold. But with Anthony DiNozzo, he had found a teammate and friend, a confidant when he couldn't turn to Ducky on those rare occasions and found a permanent fixture in their lives. Not even the temptation of his own team could pull Tony from Gibbs side and he had been here for over seven years.

He had been unaware of their relationship until Tony had been there for almost four years. Not many people, and by not many, he meant that he, Abby and Tony as it turned out, knew that Gibbs suffered from crippling panic attacks, usually triggered from some sort of tragedy. They were few and far between so Gibbs had never sought help, other than Ducky. Since Tony had joined them, Ducky hadn't received a call about the attacks, as he was usually the one to take care of him. One night though, he had received a call from Tony who was panicking himself saying that he could not get Gibbs to calm down. This has come two weeks after Kate had been killed, almost two months after Tony had nearly died from the plague and Ducky had been waiting for it. He had thrown back the covers and rushed to Gibbs house where, as usual the door had been unlocked. When he entered Jethro's room, he found Gibbs sitting on the side of the bed, his head between his knees and Tony kneeling in front of him, talking to him softly. He didn't note the state of dress that Tony was in, the sweats and tank top, the bare feet until later as he rushed to Gibbs side.

"Oh Jethro," he said and sat next to the other man and Tony looked up at him, giving him a slight smile, not removing his hand from where Gibbs was gripping it tightly.

"Hey Duck," came the strangled reply and Ducky had been relieved that he was getting some control back.

"Are you doing your breathing exercises?" he asked and the other man nodded.

"He woke up like this, couldn't breathe, said his chest was hurting, he was shaking and felt like he was going to throw up," Tony told Ducky.

"I'm fine," came the annoyed response from Gibbs as he squeezed Tony's hand, "you didn't need to come Duck," he said and Ducky chuckled.

"It's my job to look after you Jethro," he had replied and helped the other man to a sitting position and then leaning back against the headboard. He listened to his breathing which had calmed some but was still too fast and his heart which was beating a little too fast as well. "It seems the worst is over, but I'm going to get you some relaxants and a sleeping pill, I just left them in the car, I'll be right back." He stood and made his way down the stairs and out to his car and grabbed the medication he had forgotten in his rush to get to his friend. When he entered the house again and headed for the stairs, he was stopped by a sound he had not heard in a while, not since before Tony had gotten sick, Gibbs laugh. It was the laugh that said that he was happy and not the chuckle he gave most people, and he proceeded up the stairs quietly and looked into the room.

Gibbs was where he had left him against the headboard but now Tony was leaning his back against his chest, Gibbs arms wrapped around his shoulders, Tony's hands gripping his arms, talking in low tones. As Ducky watched, Gibbs buried his nose in Tony's hair and looked like he took a deep breath, breathing the other man in, Tony's eyes closed and his hands flexed on the other man's arms.

Deciding to let his presence be known, he cleared his throat and stepped inside. Tony tried to sit up and move away but Gibbs arms tightened and kept him where he was, a challenging look in his eyes when he looked at Ducky.

"Well," Ducky said, secretly pleased, "this certainly explains a few things," he said and laid the pills on the nightstand next to the bed.

"Problem Duck?" Jethro challenged and Ducky grinned at the two men.

"Not at all Jethro, not at all," he replied and squeezed both Tony and Jethro's arms as he left them to it.

Ducky had felt better knowing that Tony would look after Jethro when he was unable, help him keep his head when things fell apart. And fall apart they did, Ari, Jenny, the explosion and the subsequent 'retirement' to Mexico. With Gibbs running to Mexico and Tony taking over the team, it was hard to watch the younger man fall apart. He had watched Tony hold his head high and take the responsibility thrust on him, and suck it up when Gibbs came back, though he could tell the younger man was upset with the change. He had not said anything to anyone about what he was feeling when the other man came back and seemed to remember nothing of their relationship from before.

Now, now Tony was dead, when Palmer had said his name and he looked up to the pale face, he had turned and found Ziva standing there with _that_ look on her face. The look that spoke of grief and a sadness that came from losing a friend and partner, one that Ducky had seen too many times on too many friends' faces.

He didn't know the details yet of how Tony had died, he was sure he would find out either from Gibbs or when they arrived at the scene. He knew that Tony had been spending time with someone outside of work, what sounded like a semi-serious relationship but did not know the details, it seemed no one did.

He stood, feeling every day his age, his bones creaking and his movements slow as he pulled off his scrubs and threw them in the bin.

"Get the truck Mr. Palmer," he said quietly and barely spared a glance at the younger man as he placed a hand on his shoulder and made his way towards the lift.

"Where are you going?" Palmer called as he stepped outside the glass doors.

"To check on a friend," he replied and stepped into the lift when it arrived and hit the button for the bullpen.


	8. Tag to Bury Your Dead : Gibbs

Ok, sorry for the long wait, this one was hard to do and I hope you enjoy it, let me know otherwise if you would. :) Anyway I think I'm going to do a combined : team arriving at the site, and returning and then possibly when Tony shows up again though I may make that part another chapter from Tony's POV, I'm still deciding. If there are any mistakes they are mine, and I apologize I know some of the sentences run on, I tried to fix it and if I didn't get them all, well I suck so... :)

Thank you all for your reviews, I'm glad you are enjoying these, I think once I'm done with these I'm going to do one to the end of Judgment Day Part 2 where Tony is getting ready to leave to the _Sea Hawk_, I have most of it written out, I just may have to change the ending cuz I have to make it match up with the others and there is smut which would change the rating and I don't know how good it is. I may post this on A03 (Archiveofourown) if people want the smutty one so I don't offend Fanfiction.

So again, please let me know what you think, thank you.

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><p>There was a strange silence in Gibbs ears, an absence of noise as if the world's volume had been muted suddenly and he was completely deaf. He felt a complete numbness sweep through is body as he watched the car on the screen in front of him burn, his senior field agent inside. With the numbness came memories that flooded his mind of things lost, emotions he had tried to ignore and images he had forgotten.<p>

Images of him and Tony together, in the field, working on his boat, something he was sure he never did with anyone, eating steak together at his house, and last of all, the love he felt for the younger man. He remembered the younger man's laugh and grin, his stupid jokes and movie references that Gibbs didn't understand half the time, though Tony had made it his goal to make him watch as many movies as he could. He knew that there had been something between them, there had to have been with the flashes he had received over the months he had been gone and when he had returned.

Gibbs remembered years ago when Kate Todd had asked how Tony had become an agent and the other man had responded that he had smiled. Gibbs wondered if the younger man knew how close to the truth that had been. There was no question that Tony was attractive, he was gorgeous, his smile disarming and he had charisma coming out of his ass in waves but that was not all that had attracted Gibbs. He had been impressed with Tony's skills as a detective in Baltimore and once they had wrapped up the case, he had offered Tony a job, of course that was after they spent their first night together. Tony had come back with him and neither had looked back since and Tony had spent more nights at his house and in his bed than all of his ex-wives put together. In all seriousness, they shouldn't have worked, but Tony was a staple in his life, he made sure that Gibbs didn't overwork himself and didn't drink himself into oblivion. In return Gibbs made sure that Tony stayed grounded, didn't get himself into too much trouble, though it seemed inevitable with the younger man and they had been happy, well as happy as Leroy Jethro Gibbs was wont to be.

Tony had lasted longer than any other agent, other than Burley, but he had outlasted Stan by two years now and seemed to have no intention of leaving any time soon. Tony had also out lasted all of his ex-wives in their relationship but Gibbs put that down to the younger man's stubbornness and tenacity to stay in his life. He knew about Jenny's offer of Tony's own team, she had come to him to let him know that she was going to offer it and even knew about the potential move to Spain. He had given her a flippant answer, he tried to pass it off as nothing after all Tony deserved his own team. It wasn't truly fair that he had come back with no warning and taken the team out from under him, demoting Tony without his knowledge or consent.

When Gibbs had lost his memory, it included everything that he and Tony had had. He remembered the surprised and hurt look he had received when he had handed Tony his badge and left. The surprise and again hurt when he returned for Ziva and had not told Tony was twice as bad and Gibbs had felt like he had been kicked in the gut. He had left that time without saying goodbye because deep down, he couldn't stand to see that hurt and betrayal in his team's eyes, especially Tony's.

When Gibbs returned to his home after Mexico, he found things in order, he still had power made evident by the single light that was on in the front room, shining through the front window as if waiting for him. When he had called the next day to find out how he still had power and how much he owed the company, they had informed him that the bills were paid through and he owed nothing. He called the gas and water companies and received a similar response, according to their records, they received a money order each month with his name on it.

When he had called Ducky to ask if he had been the one, the older man had been silent for a long moment before informing him quietly that no, he was not and hung up. The house felt wrong somehow, that it was missing parts. On the wall near the door in the front room, he felt that there was supposed to be a TV but he knew that he had never had a TV there. There was a lot of space in in his closet that was supposed to have been filled by clothes that were not his, the bathroom was missing a toothbrush and a pair of dirty boxers on the floor.

It was confusing in the sense that something was nagging at him, telling him that he was wrong, that he was missing something vital but he had brushed it off. When he left, he had shut off the power, water and gas once more and had been slightly disappointed when he came back once again but no light waiting for him. It made sense now that his memory was back, that toothbrush that was missing, the TV as well as the boxers belonged to Tony and he must have been the one to pay the bills. Tony must have moved out not long after Gibbs had abandoned him and he wondered where he had gone, he had all but moved into Gibbs house at that point.

With the memories coming back, Gibbs was suddenly aware that with Tony's death, he had no way to make it up to the younger man, something that now he realized he needed to do desperately. He wanted to apologize, pride and weakness be damned, he had hurt the younger man and Tony would never know he was sorry.

With a suddenness that shocked a silent gasp from him, the sound came back, but there was still silence, but this was one caused by the shock of losing one of their own. Gibbs turned to Jenny Shepard wanting to shake the woman, had she not just assured him that Tony was safe? Finding that he had nothing to say to her, he walked past her to Ziva and McGee. He had to call Ziva's name twice before she looked at him and he could see the shock and pain in her eyes. He gave her quick instructions to let Abby know, he knew he should do it but he needed time to pull himself together. When Tim turned at the sound of his name, there were tears in his eyes, threatening to fall, and Gibbs had to swallow hard before instructing him to inform Ducky. He walked forward and placed a hand on each of their shoulders and squeezed before walking past towards the door leading from MTAC. Just as he opened the door, he turned back to find Ziva and McGee hugging and he quickly left.

He didn't remember the trip to the men's restroom, he was sure that someone had called his name at some point but he had ignored them and walked past, almost in a daze. Once inside the restroom, he had made sure he was alone before splashing water on his face and leaning heavily on the sink. He knew that he needed to find his team and get ready to bring Tony back so Ducky could do his thing and then they could lay him to rest but he found it hard to move from his position.

"Jethro?" Ducky's voice called as Gibbs heard the door to the restroom open and he glanced at one of his oldest friends as he stepped into the room.

"Hey Duck," he replied and was surprised at the hoarseness of it.

"Are you all right?" the older ME asked, stepping up next to Gibbs and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"No," Gibbs said, hanging his head low, knowing that he could show the emotions he hid from most in front of Ducky.

"You remember," Ducky said, his insight proven correct when Gibbs punched the wall next to the mirror, creating a dent.

"You're damn right I remember," Gibbs growled, clenching his throbbing fist tightly, "why didn't you or he say anything, hell why not the rest of the team?" he demanded and the other man sighed.

"Jethro, I do not know about the others but as for myself, I thought that it was Tony's place to say something to you, it was not my business. Why he didn't say anything, I can imagine that he was afraid of being rejected as you seemed to have little to no memory past a working relationship with him." Ducky's voice was stern and his eyes disapproving as he stared at Gibbs through the mirror.

"I know Duck," Gibbs said, running a hand over his face and closing his eyes for a moment, "what am I supposed to do with this now that I remember?" Ducky sighed deeply and a pained expression passed over his face.

"You bring him home and you bury him and you mourn him, there is not much else you can do," Ducky said gently.

"I don't know how to deal with that site Ducky," Gibbs said and the other man sighed, nodding.

"We'll do it together, we'll need each other in the next couple of days," he pointed out and Gibbs nodded thinking back to Kate's death and how they had spent days together, needing the closeness and reassurance that the others were all right. "Come on," Ducky said, his voice low and a hand on Gibbs' shoulder as they stepped out of the restroom. As the exited, Gibbs became aware of those in the bullpen, there was that silence again, one that spoke of shared grief. He knew that news traveled fast among the agents, especially when one of them had been killed or injured. As he and Ducky made their way to the elevator, he received multiple nods but no one spoke aloud and he was grateful. Both men stepped into the elevator and Gibbs caught sight of Jenny Shepard standing near Tony's desk as the doors closed.


	9. Tag to Bury Your Dead : The rest

Man, I thought it was hard with the other's, but I had to watch this episode from when they walked to the car, that was hard, now that I've put emotions and stuff to it. So I've put a lot of the episode in here dialogue and stuff, please excuse any changes typing errors etc. Watching the episode, I noticed that Gibbs didn't get close to the car really at all when they were there, so I added that in there. Also the part where they return to NCIS I'm not sure that this would happen, but I think if not for other agents, at least for Tony. :) (You'll see what I mean)

I've been thinking that if, when the new season comes back, that if they kill anyone I would only be ok with her dying, I'm a bad person, but if they turn this into a Ziva/Tony romance thing, I'll be so mad, I obviously ship a couple that will never happen, but I really don't like the idea of Ziva and Tony dating, but I wouldn't be surprised if they went that way. But the show comes back in a month, yay!

Please read and review, thank you for the reviews that you've given me, they let me know that I should keep going, I'll probably post the tag to Judgement Day like I mentioned before, again I'm not sure about the sex scene, though I have been told I should add it, which will obviously bump up the rating. I'll have to see.

Anyway, enjoy!

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><p>"Is it odd that I find it strangely funny that this is not the first time that I thought Tony has been blown up?" McGee asked as he and Ziva approached the car slowly, his fingers gripping the camera tightly, turning white.<p>

"I'm more surprised that he has not been blown up or killed before now," Ziva said, her steps nearly faltering as they got closer to the car, the burned body still present, Ducky squatting next to it.

"Not that he hasn't tried," McGee said, snapping pictures of the body he prayed wasn't one of his best friends.

"Yes, it seems that our friend here," Ducky said moving forward a bit, his voice strained, "did have a tendency towards trouble."

McGee made his way around the car, taking pictures of the body, the gun still in its holster and the passenger side of the car, the cell phone that was there, keeping his mind blank.

"Hey," Sheppard said quietly to him and he approached her, crouching down next to her as she stared at a burned-out device attached to the car. "That some sort of timer device?" He took a closer look at it and explained that anyone could buy it at a local electrical store for cheap. He explained how it was likely that it was activated when the ignition turned on and counted down to '0' before causing the explosion.

"Shockwave would have killed him before the fire, death would have been instantaneous," Ducky spoke up, a small relief to the horror before them. Sheppard asked about an ID but the ME explained that with the burn, there was no way to recover fingerprints and would need his dental records for the man that fit Tony's profile.

"Is there any chance that it isn't Tony?" Ducky asked Jenny, desperately wanting an agreement that there was some chance, even if it was slim, but the woman took a deep breath.

"None that I can think of," she said and turned to walk away. It was startling to Ducky when he realized that the director blamed herself and when he asked Gibbs if she should, the other man had turned away. Ducky felt that there was much that he didn't understand about what was going on, why the director felt that way and why, it seemed, that Gibbs agreed with her.

Thinking back to the last time that Tony had 'blown up', McGee approached Ziva and asked about her belief in miracles, the other man had survived the plague and many other things he shouldn't have, surely he had survived this somehow.

"It is not part of my training," was the Mossad's reply, her voice dull.

"It might not even be Tony," he reasoned but then she picked something up and handed it to him and he felt his heart stop in his chest. The leather was burnt and the writing was almost indecipherable but the picture was there, half-burned, there was no question it was Tony.

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><p>When they arrived back at NCIS headquarters, Jimmy backed the van into the garage and climbed out, stopping when he saw agents standing about. They were packed into the small area that led from the garage to the door, all staring at the back of the truck. He recognized most, they were the agents of NCIS after all, but there was an air about them, somber and tense.<p>

"Mr. Palmer," Ducky called, having made his way to the back of the truck and Jimmy quickly made his way back there as well, reaching in to pull the stretcher out but was pushed aside.

"We've got this," McGee said, smiling at the technician and Jimmy stepped back as did Ducky when Ziva took the other side and moved towards the door, Gibbs in front of them. The group of agents parted as they walked the stretcher with the body bag to the door and one opened it for them. Gibbs stopped a few feet from the door when he saw Abby standing on the other side, her wide eyes glued to the stretcher. Taking a deep breath, she locked eyes with Gibbs and stepped aside to let them pass, reaching out to touch the bag briefly as they went by.

Gibbs watched as McGee and Ziva escorted the body into the elevator to take it to Ducky's lab but didn't follow, Abby had disappeared right after bringing the stretcher in and he needed to check on her. He knew, as he headed for the elevator, that he was hiding, he hadn't been able to get more than five feet away from that burnt out car and body and he wouldn't be able to do it now, not yet anyway. He knew that he had left his team to photograph the body, gather evidence, that he should have been there with them, looking for any signs of this not being his SFA, but he had found it hard to move past the blast radius.

_'Coward,"_ his mind hissed at him, he knew he was being one, he was running away from the idea that Tony was dead, if he stayed away from the evidence, he could pretend for a while longer.

He exited the elevator and walked into the lab, seeing that Abby was in full work mode, having all of the evidence on her table and her machines working already.

"Tony is not dead," she said as he approached her, "not until Ducky says it's him, until then, he's not here. I don't care what the evidence says," she said pulling out Tony's badge, "even if everything here is Tony's, it's still not him until Ducky says it's him. Don't try to tell me anything different because I'm not going to believe you." There was a pause as she stared down at everything in front of her, "tell me it's not him Gibbs," she said, turning and hugging him, "tell me it's not him."

"I wish I could Abby," he said returning the hug and rubbing her back. She pulled back suddenly and turned, kicking him out and Gibbs turned to go, but noticed the glass and alcohol.

When Abby explained about the director's request and being sworn to secrecy, his anger towards her grew and when Abby explained that they were prints belonging to Sheppard's father and that they were new, he saw red.

He went directly to her and confronted her, explaining about the polygraph test and demanded answers about what Abby had found. The director explained how he had been murdered while under investigation for accepting a bribe when he had demanded proof of it, she had none but she knew who had done it. He was angry, she had sent Tony to his death, she almost outright admitted it, she knew who he was going after, what the risk was. When he demanded why she had sent one of his agents, she had replied that Tony was her agent and told him the mission was on a 'need to know' basis. Feeling disgusted, he turned and left the room, advising her to skip the polygraph test on Monday before he went.

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><p>McGee was standing at the screen near their desks, rewinding and replaying the video of the car exploding, his back to Ziva when she had enough.<p>

"Must you keep doing that?" she asked, feeling tired down to her bones.

"Just checking something Gibbs said," McGee replied, an idea forming in his mind, "Tony wouldn't have carried it with him, you know? His shield and ID, not if he was undercover, he would have stashed it in the car, maybe under the seat. Just because we found his ID, doesn't mean it's Tony," he said, still trying to deny what the evidence pointed towards. Ziva shot that down quickly, pointing out that it was his car, his ID, his weapon and cell phone's, damning evidence if they ever saw it. As he started to rewind the video, she stood and made her way towards him, wondering what Gibbs had said.

"He thought Tony might be tailing someone," McGee replied and they watched the screen as Tony's car approached the camera and Ziva stopped him and the video, pointing out the limo and the fact that Tony seemed to be following it. Feeling like they had found something, McGee went to run the plates and Ziva tried to track down Gibbs.

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><p>Ducky pulled another piece of shrapnel from the lung of the body they had found and placed it in the glass that Jimmy was holding. He hated this, doing an autopsy on a friend, but he wouldn't trust anyone else to do it. When the fax came in with the blood type and Jimmy had announced that it was A positive, and Tony matched, his heart sank a bit further. He tried to make them feel better that thirty-four percent of the nation had A positive blood and knew they would have to wait for the dental to come in. Taking a deep breath, he knew that he would have to continue and they moved onto the lungs.<p>

"Penetrative shrapnel damage, middle and lower left lobes, although by his healthy tissue, non-smoker, and minimal scarring," he said and paused, barely hearing when Jimmy repeated what he had said. "Minimal scarring?" he said, almost to himself.

"I got that doctor," Jimmy said and Ducky turned to him.

"Yes, Mr. Palmer, but how could he?"

"How could he what, sir?" Jimmy asked, confused.

"Have minimal scarring," Ducky said, turning and using a knife to open the other lung, "in both lungs?"

"Healthy living?" Jimmy asked, obviously confused about what the doctor was getting at.

"Yersinia pestis," Ducky said, pointing at the younger man with the knife, "Y-pestis."

"The pneumonic plague?" Jimmy asked.

"Yes, the plague, Mr. Palmer," he said, becoming more and more relieved by the second, "this man has never had the plague," he said and turned to leave the room, barely sparing Jimmy a response. He made his way to the elevator and to the bullpen, hoping that Gibbs would be there so he could givce him the good news. When he approached them, they were talking about a limo company owned by La Grenouille and how Tony could have been following him. Ducky disagreed with him and reminded them all of Tony's bout with the plague, something that Ziva pointed out was before her time. McGee explained what had happened, how he almost died. Ducky explained how the man in autopsy was not Tony, evident by the non-existent scarring of his lungs.

"If it's not Tony, then who is it?" the director asked.

"And where is DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked the million dollar question, feeling relief and worry though he wouldn't let it show.

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><p>The director was demanding all of the information on the limo company, wanting to know if La Granouille was in DC, Gibbs wanted to know where Tony was. The director tried to cover her tracks by stating that Tony was their top priority but Gibbs new different.<p>

When Trent Kort walked in, wanting to know where both men were, Sheppard refused to tell him anything and she wanted to know why he was asking.

"La Granouille," Kort said, sighing heavily, speaking slowly as if the words were being pulled from him, "flew to DC this morning. He arrived at his safe house and his satellite phone has stopped transmitting."

"Mislayed your arms dealer," Gibbs said, having stood and walked around his desk to stand next to the director, "that's got to be embarrassing."

"I don't know what NCIS is up to," Kort said, "but I want a private briefing in your office now," he said, staring at Jenny, ignoring the other man.

"I'll decide what briefing you get and where you get it Mr. Kort and if you have a problem with that, why don't you have your director give me a call." Kort explained how they were jeopardizing the long term and one of the most important operations that the agency had ever conducted.

"Operation Lodestone," Gibbs pointed out and Kort gave him a dirty look, advising him that he was not read in on the operation. When Gibbs demanded that they be read in and Jenny challenged him, Kort threatened her before turning to leave, all four NCIS agents following.

"Special Agent DiNozzo's car was bombed this morning," Gibbs said, knowing that this man knew more than he was letting on, "but I guess you knew that."

"He wasn't in it," Kort pointed out and Gibbs dislike for this man grew in leaps and bounds, not that it had far to go, he could only remember disliking a few people as much as this man.

"Thanks for sharing," Jenny broke in.

"The agency had nothing to do with it," Kort defended himself and the CIA.

"Is that when you mislayed your frog in all of that confusion?" Gibbs said, taking a step forward, barely registering the elevator arriving with a ding until the doors opened and he saw Tony's grinning face.

"Hey," he said, pointing at Kort who was standing in front of him, "my car blew up this morning, did you have something to do with that?" He was unprepared for the man in front of him grabbing him by the jacket and shoving him up against the wall, an arm across his chest.

"Where did you go with La Granouille?" Kort demanded and Tony looked to his left and Kort followed his eyes to find three guns trained on him and he let go. Tony made a quip about the arms dealer and Kort using the frog as a name for himself in the future before Kort informed him of finding La Granouille.

"Happy frog hunting," Tony called as he stepped forward and looked at his team, McGee was smiling at him, Ziva and Jenny looked relieved, but Gibbs had an odd look on his face. "What, no balloons?" he asked and the others turned and walked away from him, Gibbs lingering longer than the others.

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><p>Tony watched as his car exploded on the screen and went on to tell Jenny and Gibbs almost everything, explained how the arms dealer had known who he really was and demanded his cell phones. When Jenny wanted to know what Jeanne had said, he refused to tell her, trying to ignore the presence of the man he still loved across the table from him. The strange look was still on his boss' face as he watched Tony closely.<p>

In the end, he left the director's office angrily and walked down the stairs, calming himself as he went, slapping the back of the McGee's head helped, and he explained that he had done it because the other man had believed him dead. McGee had complained and said that Ziva had given up and she had protested. The hug from Abby was expected as soon as he saw her out of the corner of his eye and he noticed Ziva's handling of his letter opener and then everything else that had gone missing.

"Hey Ducky," Abby said as soon as Tony had realized that his Mighty Mouse stapler had gone missing and Abby explained that the ME had taken it and he turned, glaring at the older man.

"My dear fellow," the Me said, looking guilty, "I never believed it for a moment, welcome home," he said, handing over the stapler.

When Gibbs rounded the partition, Abby rushed to him, explaining what she had found and it came out that the bomb was made for Jeanne, not Gibbs sent Tony and Ziva to check on her.

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><p>Later once he and Ziva returned to NCIS after going after Jeanne but finding her gone, her apartment empty, Tony's heart clenched painfully, knowing that Jeanne was gone and wouldn't be back.<p>

"Tony," Gibbs called to him when they were packed up and leaving for the night, Ziva and McGee had left minutes before.

"Yeah boss," he replied, swinging his backpack onto his shoulder and following him to the elevator.

"We need to talk, come by my place tonight, bring beer," the older man said, not looking at Tony and he felt like declining, but then thought better of being alone and agreed.

When he arrived at Gibbs house, he stood and pulled his backpack out, having a change of clothes there to change into and the beer and walked in without knocking.

"Gibbs," he called, placing the beer in the fridge, "I'm here, I brought the good stuff."

"Out on the deck DiNozzo," came Gibbs' voice and Tony followed it out to find his boss standing at the grill, two steaks cooking. Tony took a seat at the table and sighed, unbuttoning the top two buttons of his shirt, he'd change in a minute and laid his head back.

"What did you want to talk about boss?" Tony asked, still staring at the sky above them, it was dusk, the sky turning orange as the sun disappeared. When the other man didn't reply, he rolled his head to the left, where Gibbs had taken a seat to find him sipping at a beer, staring out into the back yard.

"How are you holding up?" Gibbs finally said and Tony sat up, running a hand over his face.

"I'll be fine," he said, shrugging and Gibbs finally looked at him, an eyebrow raised, "promise boss, I'll be fine," he reiterated.

"If you need time off," Gibbs started and Tony scoffed.

"I'm fine Jet," he nearly snapped and Gibbs stopped, his beer nearly to his mouth and Tony realized his mistake, his eyes widening, he hadn't called Gibbs that in a long time. He had used it mostly when they were alone while dating, never in front of the others, it spoke of too much intimacy. "Shit," Tony swore and stood up, "I'm going to get out of this suit and grab a beer, do you want another one?" he asked gesturing to Gibbs drink.

"Yeah, thanks," Gibbs said, his voice coming out strained and Tony left before he thought too much about it. He grabbed his backpack and walked into the hall bathroom, changing quickly into a pair of sweats and worn t-shirt, one of Gibbs' old ones and left the bathroom. When he looked out through the glass doors, he found Gibbs back at the grill and he took a deep breath before heading to the fridge.

Gibbs stood soon after Tony was inside and made his way to the grill, poking at the steak there, wondering why this was turning out to be so hard. He could see the pain in the other man's eyes at the loss of Jeanne and wondered if he was doing the right thing. When he had seen Tony walk off of that elevator, it had taken a good amount of self restraint to not pull the younger man into a hug. He wanted to talk to Tony, see where they stood and so he had invited him over, he had two steaks in the fridge that he had started cooking, trusting Tony to bring the good beer and then Tony had walked out. The man was disheveled, his jacket was wrinkled, he wore no tie, his hair looked like it had had fingers run through it more than once and there were dark circles under his eyes.

When Tony had called him 'Jet' he had been stunned, the wind seemed to be knocked from his lungs, he hadn't had anyone call him that in a long time, especially Tony, and he missed it he found. Putting the bottle of beer in his hand to his mouth, he cursed when he found it empty and nearly slammed it down on the table, wondering where Tony was with his beer.

Tony grabbed to bottles and turned to leave the kitchen, the sound of the front door opening causing him to turn and what he saw made him stop, what felt like a cold bucket of water dumping over his head. Lt. Colonel Mann stood there, a bag of groceries in her arms, a bottle of what looked like champagne sticking out of the top.

"Gibbs are you here?" she called, not noticing Tony at first but she turned and jumped when she saw him standing in the kitchen doorway. "Tony, hi," she said, looking around, seeming embarrassed, "what are you doing here?" Tony wanted to pretend that the accusation in her tone was his imagination, but the Col. Knew about his relationship with Gibbs, he didn't know how, but she had figured it out.

"We had a bad day at work," Tony said, still standing there with the beer in his hands, reality banging it's unfairness against his brain, "came by to unwind."

"Oh," she said and pulled the long coat she was wearing around her tighter, making Tony think she wasn't wearing much.

"I should let you two be alone," Tony said, placing the bottles down on the counter and walked to where he had placed his backpack near the bathroom.

"You don't have to go," the woman denied and Tony flashed her a smile, wondering if she would recognize the fact that it was fake.

"I don't want to be in the way," he said, grabbing his suit and heading for the door, "tell Gibbs I said bye," he said and was gone, making his way to his car and climbing in, placing his suit and backpack in the passenger seat. Grabbing his cell phone he picked it up and dialed Gibbs' number, knowing that the other man wouldn't answer, his phone was in the kitchen and Tony was sure Col Mann was keeping the other man busy.

"Hey Gibbs," he said as the phone went to voice mail, "I've decided to take you up on your offer and take some time off, I'll be back in a couple of days." He finished and shut his phone, turned on the car and threw it into gear and left the driveway.

"Hey," a voice, very much not Tony's, said from the doorway and he looked up to find Hollis Mann standing there, smiling at him, wearing a long trench coat, tied at the waist.

"Hey," he replied, trying to look beyond her for Tony, "where's Tony?" he asked, looking back in enough time to see the scowl flit across her face before disappearing.

"He went home," she said, walking to him and kissing him briefly, a kiss that Gibbs returned automatically but he felt nothing but annoyance towards this woman.

"Why?" he demanded when she pulled back and he saw annoyance cross her face.

"I don't know," she said, shrugging and looking down at the steaks, "is one of those for me?" she asked and Gibbs had half a mind to tell her off and call Tony back.

"Yeah," he said instead and she smiled and kissed him again before walking into the house and returning with two glasses and the bottle of champagne.

"Isn't this nice," she said, shivering a bit as the night wind picked up, before pouring a glass for the two of them.

"Yeah," Gibbs said distractedly, glaring down at the steaks now, why had Tony left, especially without tell him he was going or saying goodbye. He knew that the Col. had something to do with it, obviously and he needed to find a way to end it between the two of them and get Tony back.


	10. Tag to Judgment Day Part 2

To all of those who reviewed and said that this was great/awesome and/or that you loved it, THANK YOU! I love to hear from you guys, it makes it worth it and makes me want to update, which I have, yay! I have pushed their talk back quite a bit and I explained why, (don't hurt me). To those who expressed anger at Col Mann, I planned it that way cuz I totally saw her as that kind of character, she would have done such a thing. Sorry I'm not taking the time here, I may PM you if you guys want, to thank you, I really do appreciate your reviews, I'm just lazy. :) Also, I did forgo the smut, there is a shower scene but it is very PGish, no naughtiness in graphic detail, you can use your imagination if you want, I just don't think I'm good at writing that sort of thing.

I'm not sure which one to do next, any suggestions?

Please enjoy!

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><p>Tony looked around the wreck of his room with a blank stare, clothes were strewn about, his toiletries were lying on his pillow and his bags were open at the foot of the bed. He'd been kicked off the team, banished to the <em>Sea Hawk<em> as punishment for letting Jenny Sheppard die. It was punishment, no matter what anyone said, the new director, Vance, was punishing the whole team, Ziva and himself especially. Tony sat on the edge of his bed and placed his head in his hands, this was his fault; he had insisted that Jenny could handle herself and now Ziva was being forced to leave and he was on a one-way ticket to Agent Afloat.

The sudden tightening of his throat made him gasp and the sting of tears made him close his eyes tightly, trying to hold them back. As the first slipped out though, he let out a sob and gripped his hair in his hands tightly. He hadn't truly grieved for what happened, he had been so focused on figuring out the events of that day and defending his actions, he didn't let himself think about it too deeply. But now, here, alone in his apartment, packing for the trip out to sea tomorrow, he couldn't help but think of anything else. Jenny Sheppard was dead because he wanted to play hooky and enjoy this mini-vacation they had been granted, never mind that they were on protection detail, one that they had failed at, epically. Ziva didn't deserve this, she had wanted to check on the director repeatedly throughout their time in California but Tony had ignored her intuition and as a result, Jenny was now dead.

Another sob wracked his body and he let himself slip to the floor and pulled his knees to his chest and rested his forehead on them as the faces of his co-workers flashed through his mind. They all said the same thing, it wasn't his fault, but he could see the accusations in their eyes, the questions they wanted answered that he had no answers to. The only explanation was that he had fucked up, big time, and he was the only one who should have been punished for this, not the rest of his team, but Vance had handed out the orders and they were all stuck in the fate that Tony had forced on them.

Tony stayed in that position for several minutes before the tears subsided and he leaned his head back against the bed, taking deep breaths to calm himself. It took a few moments but he became aware of eyes watching him, dropping his head, he wasn't surprised to see Gibbs standing in the doorway. Wiping his face, Tony stood on shaky legs and sat on the edge of the bed again, running his hand through his hair and not meeting Gibbs' eyes.

"What are you doing here?" he asked his voice raw and low from crying.

"Came to check up on you," Gibbs said, shrugging the shoulder not against the door frame.

"I'm fine," Tony stated, his tone sharp, not knowing what to think of the other man seeing him as he was a moment ago.

"I can see that," Gibbs said wryly and stood straight and walked into the room. Tony, refusing to meet his eyes still, turned and started placing clothes into his bags

"Do you have everything?" Gibbs asked, picking up a shirt and folding it and placing it in front of Tony, then picking up a pair of pants and doing the same which the other man grabbed and stuffed into his bag.

"Yeah," Tony's voice had softened some but he was still not thrilled with the fact that Gibbs was there, standing next to him, watching him pack his bags. When he was done, he zipped up both bags and placed them on the floor and turned to his former boss.

"What are you doing here Jethro?" he asked, running a tired hand over his face.

"Like I said, I came to check on you, and to bring you dinner," the other man said, turning and walking out of the room. Tony looked after him for a long moment before sighing and following him into the living room where he found Ziva, McGee, Abby, Ducky and even Palmer sitting. He stopped inside the doorway and stared at the people who looked like they had just arrived. Abby was carrying four large pizzas, McGee had a case of beer, Ducky had a bottle of wine and Palmer had something that looked like cupcakes.

"Tony!" Abby cried once she spotted him and raced across the room once she had set the pizza's down and threw her arms around him. "What Vance is doing is stupid," she said, taking his hand and leading him into the room where everyone greeted him.

"Abby," he started but the lab tech glared at him.

"No, this was not your fault Tony," she said vehemently, "and punishing everyone is so not cool."

"I agree with everything Abigail said," Ducky spoke up, opening a pizza box as Gibbs went into the kitchen to grab glasses and plates, "this is not your fault Anthony." Tony gave him a small smile as Abby pulled him down on the love seat next to her

"What do I owe the occasion?" he asked as a plate with two pizza slices was thrust into his hands by Gibbs and a beer placed in front of him on the coffee table.

"Well it's our last night together for a while," McGee spoke up for the first time, "and we thought you shouldn't spend it alone."

"This is probably our last night together, period McGee, I don't see Vance bringing me back any time soon and unless Ziva comes to visit, we probably won't see her any time soon either," Tony said morosely.

"Don't talk like that!" Abby said, hitting Tony on the arm hard, causing him to wince, "Gibbs will get you back, right Gibbs," she said turning to the man in question.

"I'll do what I can to get the team back together," Gibbs said, looking Tony in the eye, but Tony knew that Gibbs was only one man, a man to be reckoned with, but still, only one man.

"I'm sure you will Jethro," Ducky spoke up, taking a sip of his wine.

"When do you leave?" Tony asked Ziva, sometime later after both Ducky and Palmer had left and it was nearing the two o'clock hour. They had moved into Tony's room, Ziva, McGee, Abby and Tony spread across the California king size bed he had, watching a movie, and Gibbs taking up a chair to the side.

"Tomorrow night," was the reply and Abby's hold around Tony tightened slightly as if hearing her words in sleep. Tony was between Ziva and Abby, the latter draped across his torso, the former lying by his side and McGee was on the other side of Abby, also asleep. Tony looked towards Gibbs and found the older man asleep, his head resting on his chest. "It really isn't your fault Tony," the Mossad operative stated and Tony turned his head back towards her.

"Maybe one day I'll believe that," he stated quietly and turned back to the movie on the screen.

Sometime later, Tony jerked awake and laid there for a moment, gathering his bearings, another nightmare, he had been having them for the last while, he never remembered what they were about, but he always awoke with a start. Sitting up, he looked to his right to see Abby had draped herself across McGee at some point and Ziva was lying with her back towards him, seeming asleep. He looked towards the chair where Gibbs had been sleeping to find it empty and he couldn't help the feeling of loss. He looked up when he heard a throat clearing quietly to see Gibbs standing, once again, in the door way, watching him. The older man jerked his head slightly behind him and turned and left the room, expecting Tony to follow. Tony sat up and looked at the clock which read five-thirty meaning he had five hours before his flight out to the _Sea Hawk_. He sighed and scooted to the end of the bed, trying not to disturb his friends as he climbed off, before walking quietly into the kitchen where Gibbs was waiting.

"Nightmare?" the other man asked as Tony sat and a glass of juice was placed in front of him.

"Yeah," he said, nodding his thanks as the other man sat down across from him.

"As bad as they used to be?" was the next question and Tony remembered all the times he would wake up while they had been dating and Gibbs had been there. Now, though, he had to deal with them on his own, had been for nearly a year. The other man finally remembered them, their relationship but had never hinted at wanting to start up again so Tony had never brought it up. Tony nodded and stared down at the contents in his cup, silence engulfing them. There was a lot that Tony wanted to say to the other man, but he didn't know how to start.

"I'm sorry," had Tony's head snapping up and staring at Gibbs in confusion.

"For what?" he asked.

"I tried to talk to Vance and get him to change his mind, but he says that his word is final and insists that this is not a punishment for you." Tony sighed and leaned back in his chair, running a hand over his face.

"What do you think?" he asked quietly and stared at Gibbs as he stared back.

"I _know_," he said, emphasizing the second word, "that this is not your fault, Tony, you need to stop blaming yourself, no one else does." Tony stood abruptly at that and picked up his now empty cup and moved to the sink, looking out the window at the coming dawn.

"I wish I could go back," he said quietly, gripping the side of the sink tightly, "do what I was supposed to do instead of screwing up like I always do."

"You are not a screw up," Gibbs voice said from behind him and Tony met his eyes in the window and chuckled mirthlessly before turning around, finding Gibbs a lot closer than he thought.

"Tell that to Jenny," he said, leaning against the counter. Gibbs sighed and moved forward, into Tony's space and gripped both sides of his face between his palms.

"Listen to me," he said, staring directly into Tony's eyes, "you need to forgive yourself, it will eat you alive."

"Yeah but-" Tony was cut off mid-sentence by Gibbs mouth on his and he instinctively wrapped his arms around the older man's shoulders as Gibbs' dropped around his waist and pulled him forward.

Pulling away, Tony leaned his head back and stared up at the ceiling, breathing heavily, Gibbs' arms still around his waist.

"What is this?" he asked, looking back down at Gibbs who sighed and pulled back.

"I don't know," he said and leaned against the counter and ran a hand over his face.

"You can't practically ignore me and this thing between us until now, the night before I leave for who knows how long," Tony said accusingly, frustrated with the other man.

"I tried to talk to you about this," Gibbs shot back.

"When?" Tony demanded, folding his arms.

"The first time was after we thought you blew up in that car," Gibbs said and Tony's eyes narrowed.

"You remembered?"

"Yeah, it all came back to me when I thought you were dead," he pointed out and Tony looked shocked.

"That's why you invited me to your place," he said, realization coming like a freight train.

"Yeah DiNozzo, but you left," Gibbs pointed out and Tony closed his eyes.

"Mann showed up, I was still hurting from Jeanne and thought that you wanted to be alone with her," he said quietly.

"I wanted to talk to you, iron everything out, fill in the holes that were missing. I kept trying to talk to you, when you showed up after the whole Maddie fiasco. I wanted to talk the morning after you showed up, but you left when I was out getting breakfast." Tony thought back to that night, he had ended up with a small cold, luckily nothing worse, and how he had felt guilty, waking in Gibbs bed and had snuck out like a one-night-stand. "I figured that you were avoiding the issue, that you didn't want us to pick up where we left off so I backed off."

"God Gibbs," Tony said rubbing his forehead, letting a self-depreciating laugh out, "we're both morons," he said, looking at the other man again. "But why now?"

"I had to let you know," Gibbs said, standing straight again and moving forward, back into Tony's space, "give you a reason to come back when I give you that option."

"Not like I wouldn't take it, even if you didn't want me back," Tony said, reaching forward and resting a hand on Gibbs' neck as he pulled him forward into another kiss. "Just don't take too long," he said pulling back a moment later and Gibbs smirked.

"Are you two done making out in the kitchen?" Ziva's voice asked, breaking them apart and Gibbs pulled back but didn't move away from Tony.

"No, go away," Tony replied and tried to pull Gibbs back but the man smiled and pulled away fully and Tony shot the grinning Mossad operative a glare.

"Are the other's up?" Gibbs asked and in answer, Abby stuck her head around the door frame also grinning and stepped in, dragging McGee behind her and Tony rolled his eyes when he saw the other man covering his own with his hand.

"You can look now McGee," he said and stood straight, contemplating grabbing Gibbs and kissing him again when McGee lowered his hand slowly, first peeking through his fingers.

"I'm so happy for you guys!" Abby said, hugging first Gibbs then Tony, "oh, but wait," she said frowning, "you're leaving today," she said, pointing at Tony.

"Yeah Abbs," he replied and looked at the clock, "in about four hours."

"Let's get breakfast!" she said, clapping her hands and looking around her at the rest of the team.

"I really need to change," McGee said, looking down at his wrinkled clothing, "and shower."

"Yeah you do," Tony said and McGee glared at him.

"I would also like the chance to shower and change," Ziva spoke up and Abby sighed.

"How about we all take an hour, go home, shower, change, do whatever and we'll meet at IHOP," Tony suggested and the rest of the team agreed. When Ziva, McGee and Abby had left, Tony headed to his room, ignoring Gibbs who was still standing in his kitchen, thinking along the same lines of the others. He pulled off his clothes in the bathroom, threw them into the hamper and climbed into the shower after adjusting the temperature. He had soap in his hair when he heard the shower door open and he smiled as Gibbs climbed in behind him and took over washing his hair. Once he was done, Tony switched places with the older man and watched him wash, feeling what he had just got back as well as what he was receiving. Taking a deep breath, he leaned against the shower wall and closed his eyes but they opened a moment later when hands grabbed his hips and jerked him forward, lining him up against Gibbs'.

"Don't think about it, it will be over sooner than you think," Gibbs said before kissing him.

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><p>When they arrived at IHOP a half our later they found the other's waiting for them, sitting in a booth and they crammed in on the ends. They spent two hours there talking and laughing and trying to ignore the fact that most of them weren't going to be seeing each other for a while. When it came time to go, they said goodbye in the parking lot, Gibbs was going to give him a ride to the base without the others.<p>

"Give Burt a hug for me," Tony said, hugging Abby tightly, she was trying to hold back her tears, "keep an eye on both McGee and Gibbs, all right?" he said giving her one more squeeze and pulled back, wiping her face of tears that had escaped.

"Ziva," he said, holding out his hand to her, "take care," he said sincerely, "I expect to see you back as soon as I am, but not before," he threatened wagging a finger in her face.

"You're an idiot," she said before taking his hand and pulling him into a hug, "you take care of yourself as well," she said quietly into his ear.

"I will," he said and returned the hug before pulling back and turned to McGee who raised his hand in a shake, but feeling that wasn't enough, Tony nearly tackled him to the ground in a hug.

"Really Tony?" the other man griped and Tony grinned and hugged him tighter.

"Really Tim," he said and felt the other man's arms come up around him, "I know you won't be there, but keep an eye on Gibbs and Abby, run back ground checks on all of his team, threaten them if you have to, just watch his six, all right?"

"Wouldn't dream of doing anything else," McGee said and Tony pulled back and looked at the three of them before he gave them a watery smile.

"See you guys later," he said and saluted, turned on his heel and marched to the car, knowing if he looked back he'd lose it.

When he and Gibbs arrived at the base, they parked and sat in silence for a long moment, neither knowing what to say.

"You know, no one is going to be as good as me, the new people will drive you crazy, get your coffee wrong, be annoying, won't be experienced, that sort of thing," Tony said, not turning towards the other man, just staring out the windshield.

"What's your point DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked, sounding amused.

"My point," he said, turning to the older man, "is that I can probably give you a thousand reason's why you should get me back asap."

"Tony," Gibbs said, reaching for Tony's hand, "I don't need a thousand, you won't be out there forever, I'm not sure they'll be able to stand me," he said and Tony grinned.

"You are very good at scaring everyone away," he agreed.

"Except you," Gibbs pointed out and Tony laughed.

"Well, I'm stubborn, have to be when it comes to you. I must have softened you a bit, you haven't been able to get rid of Tim or Ziva."

"I like to think of it as, you're more of a buffer between us," Gibbs said, squeezing the other man's hand.

"Makes sense," Tony said and glanced at the clock in the car. "I should get going," he said reluctantly and Gibbs sighed.

"All right, you'll understand if I don't walk you to your flight," he said, and Tony nodded.

"I'll contact you as soon as I can," he said and squeezed Gibbs hand, wanting nothing more than to lean over and kiss the older man but instead, climbed out of the car and opened the backseat where he had stashed his bags and grabbed them. Leaning into the open passenger door he smiled at Gibbs and took a deep breath.

"Take care of yourself," he said and Gibbs nodded once.

"You too," he said and Tony gave him a quick smile and stood, closing the door and walking towards the waiting plane.

Gibbs was still there long after it left.


	11. Tag to Nature of the Beast

Ok, I know this is short and angsty, oh the angst!, but it is a tag to 'Nature of the Beast', I was thinking of doing 'Last Man Standing' as it follows the last tag I did, but this one wouldn't leave me alone. Thank you for all of the reviews, I'll respond personally, promise, sorry. I really do appreciate your words of encouragement and letting me what you think, please keep them coming. I really don't know how a call from the hospital would go if something happened to someone you loved, luckily I haven't had that happen, so please forgive me for taking liberties and I think of it more of a generalization of how that could go.

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><p>Gibbs had been several people's emergency contact over the years, Ducky as he had no one else, Ziva because he was her boss and she thought it was appropriate. McGee had his own family but he was on the short list, especially being in law enforcement. Abby had the nuns but he knew that he and Ducky were first on that list. Even Jenny Sheppard had him down as a contact when she had been director, Mike Franks also had him listed before he died*. He was no stranger to receiving calls, as few as they were, pertaining to those people he cared about but being also the next of kin was another story.<p>

He was the next of kin to only one man, his SIC, Senior Field Agent, Anthony DiNozzo, and that was a burden he did not take lightly. He knew that if it came down to it he could and would make life altering decisions for the younger man though the idea gave him pause. Tony's father was at least fifth on Tony's emergency contact list, they had started building a relationship, and Gibbs knew that DiNozzo Sr. was lucky to be there at all.

Gibbs also knew how those calls went, he didn't receive enough to really memorize it, but you never forgot a call telling you something was wrong and the call usually went along the lines of :

"Mr. (Insert your name here), this is nurse/doctor _ calling from (name of hospital), I have (enter loved one's name here) in the (OR/ER/morgue etc). He/she was brought in because of (shot/stabbed/drunk/stubbed toe etc) and you are down as his/her emergency contact."

No, you never forgot those calls, never forgot the feeling of your stomach dropping to your feet, the fear and panic that rushed through you, no matter how unaffected you pretended to be.

Gibbs had an early warning system : his gut. His gut tended to be spot on and rarely, if ever, wrong, especially when it came to his people, sharpened further when it came to Tony. His gut was a blessing and a curse all in one. He was grateful to it when it warned him of impending doom, but other times, like now, he had no idea why it was in a knot. That wasn't true, he knew that it had to do with the fact that someone he cared for was in danger. Calls to Ziva, McGee, Ducky, Abby and even Palmer told him what he already knew, that there was something wrong with Tony and there wasn't anything he could do.

Tony had been gone for the longer part of three months, undercover for the SecNav himself, requested Tony directly and from what Vance had told him, would have used Tony whether Vance agreed or not. Vance said he knew little and couldn't share what he did know, only that it was a matter of national security and that Tony was in deep.

Tony hadn't been able to contact any of them and they were all getting a bit antsy, Gibbs especially, Abby only slightly less so. The only intelligence that they received was from Vance and that was always along the lines that Tony was alive, but never if he was well or hurt or coming home soon.

Gibbs had only been grateful that his early warning system hadn't perked up until now, not the entire time the other man was gone and he knew that he would know if Tony was ever in trouble. That, on top of the guilt he was feeling made him sick and the warning bells that had started ringing in his head three hours ago was doing nothing for his migraine.

Taking another swig of his water, he had drank nothing but since he woke this morning with his gut twisting, making it an interesting work day for his team, he looked around him at the basement and sighed.

He thought back to the last night he had seen Tony, the other man had been packing for his assignment and Gibbs had picked a fight with him. After the Jeanne fiasco, Gibbs had made it crystal clear that he didn't like any of his team going undercover without his knowing what was going on. Tony had argued that he didn't have a choice, SecNav had requested him and turning him down was not something he could do. Gibbs hadn't yelled, he rarely yelled, only when he was beyond angry, it did happen, he'd yelled at his team, at Tony both at work and at home, and Tony had given as good as he got. Not this time though, he had kept his voice level, looked the younger man in the eye and told him that he wasn't cleaning up his mess this time. There had been a long silence as Tony had stopped to watch him, his bag over his shoulder and he took a deep breath before nodding once.

"Right," he said and moved towards the door stopping next to him, their shoulders brushing lightly, "see you Gibbs," and he'd walked out. No kiss goodbye, no three words that Gibbs felt Tony was sometimes too liberal with, just a 'see you Gibbs'. He'd stood there in their bedroom and listened as the front door open and closed before the anger left him, making him feel drained. There was a part of him that screamed at him to go after the younger man, the part that realized he didn't know when or if he was going to see Tony again but he ignored it. He made his way to the basement, trying to hold onto the anger that had left him so quickly but found that he couldn't, it was quickly being replaced by worry. That part of his brain that realized that Tony may not come back beat the other part of his brain and made him realize what he had just done. He picked up his phone three times before he threw it in a drawer and turned back to the project he hadn't started yet.

It had been three agonizing months, he had tried his hardest to wheedle information out of Vance, and he knew the rest of the team had been doing what they could to find anything about their missing teammate. Nothing was said, and McGee had used his ability with the computers to look into files that he could probably get into a lot of trouble for peeking at. Ziva was more brutal in her interrogation and search for suspects, and scared more than one poor intern into hysterics. Gibbs caught her glancing towards the elevator every time it 'dinged' as if Tony would walk off it at any time. Abby was so hopped up on CafPow that she vibrated and talked twice as fast as she usually did and Gibbs worried that she didn't sleep. Ducky was his usual calm self but he asked Gibbs if he had heard anything at least once a day.

Gibbs didn't sleep, which wasn't surprising, he didn't sleep much anyway, but he had gotten better at sleeping in a bed since Tony had moved in and sleeping more often. Since Tony had gone, he had returned to sleeping in the basement, not liking the empty side of the bed where Tony usually slept.

Lying in the basement now, he stared up at the ceiling and ran a hand over his face, wishing for something stronger than water but didn't dare in case his gut turned out to be right and he needed to drive.

Two minutes before the phone rang, the bells, klaxons and whistles in his head stopped, his gut clenched tighter and a feeling of dread/relief washed through him. When the phone rang, he grabbed it and barely listened to what the woman had to say, only paying attention to the location and 'gunshot' before he was up the stairs, his keys in hand. He thought it was ironic as he grabbed his jacket once he had hung up, that he suddenly missed the bells and whistles from before, it was too quiet, giving him time to over think things as he drove.

The drive to the hospital was a blur, he made it in record time, surprised that he hadn't killed anyone along the way, he parked and made his way inside.

"Anthony DiNozzo," he said as soon as he reached the right floor, the staff there familiar with him and the relationship between the two men.

"Agent Gibbs," a voice said and Gibbs turned to see one of the doctor's he was familiar with, Doctor Mason, there.

"How is he?" Gibbs asked, skipping the pleasantries and the Mason motioned for him to follow and led him down a side hallway.

"Tony was found unconscious with a single gunshot to his chest," Mason said, looking down at the chart in his hands, "luckily he was wearing a vest, he is also suffering from a concussion."

"Is he alright?" Gibbs asked as they stopped outside of a room, and Mason sighed.

"The vest stopped the bullet from doing any real damage, he's bruised and there seems to be some problem remembering the events leading up to being shot, more than likely due to the concussion."

"Who called it in?" Gibbs wanted to know, needed to know if Tony was still in danger.

"Not really sure," the doctor said shrugging and Gibbs nodded.

"Can I go in?" he asked and Mason nodded before opening the door for him. Inside, Tony was sitting on the bed, his legs hanging off of the side, staring at the wall, his bullet proof vest in his lap.

"Tony," he said and moved into the room, making his way to the younger mans side.

"Hey Jet," he said, looking up and Gibbs could see the unfocused look in his eyes but Tony was smiling, if a bit crookedly.

"Are you all right?" Gibbs asked, cupping his cheek and tilting his head up to look closer and Tony raised his vest, his pointer finger pushing through a hole there and wiggled it at Gibbs.

"It was close," he said, his voice cracking and Gibbs pulled him into a hug and Tony reciprocated, wrapping his arms around Gibbs middle.

"Tony, what happened?" Gibbs asked, hunching down a bit so he could look the other man in the eye without making him strain his neck.

"I'm not really sure," Tony said, looking away, "it's all a bit fuzzy."

"Tony, come on, I need to know what's going on, if you're still in danger," Gibbs said, taking a seat next to him.

"I can't remember Gibbs," Tony said, still not looking at him, his gaze returning to his finger sticking through the hole again and the older man sighed.

"All right," Gibbs said, pulling him into his side, resting his chin on Tony's head where it rested on his shoulder.

"Thanks for coming Gibbs," was said quietly several minutes later.

"Not a chance that I wouldn't be here," he replied, squeezing Tony tightly across the shoulders.


	12. Tag to High Seas

OK, so I haven't forgotten this story, I just hadn't realized it had been nearly two years since I'd updated it, sorry about that.

This is a tag to 'High Seas', just a longer more slashy version of the conversation between Burley and Tony when they are leaving. Mentions of one-sided Stan/Gibbs and he points out something that they should have realized, working with NCIS and all.

Enjoy!

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><p>"Hey, DiNozzo," Stan said, stopping him as Kate and Gibbs moved to the plane and Tony turned to him.<p>

"Did you forget something?" he asked, his voice clipped and the other man laughed.

"You don't have to worry about anything," Stan said, glancing briefly at Gibbs as the other man stood, waiting for Tony near the plane.

"I don't know what you are talking about," Tony denied and turned to leave, but the other man's hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"Look, Tony, nothing happened between us, no matter how much one of us wanted it to," the other man went on, turning back to Tony.

"Really?" Tony demanded and Stan smiled sardonically at him.

"Gibbs isn't the easiest guy to love, or even like, for that matter, but he's obviously trying for you. Hell it took two years for him to look me in the eye, three years to call me by my first name and four years to get it right, by then I was kinda used to 'Steve'. He must really like you," he said, knowingly and Tony shook his head,

"We're not-" Tony tried to deny again but Stan held up a hand, stopping him mid sentence.

"Yeah, you are, and everyone can see it."

"Everyone?" Tony doubted, looking towards Kate and Gibbs once again, noting the impatience on his boss' face. "We've been careful-"

"Tony, you work with professional investigators, some of the best in the nation, they know, trust me."

"So nothing between you and Gibbs?" Tony asked after a moment, wanting the reassurance, he had been bothered with how Gibbs had treated Stan during the investigation. He didn't like admitting he had been jealous, and the idea of the two men together set his blood boiling.

"Nothing between me and Gibbs," Stan assured, "that's the main reason I left, got out before I got in too deep and couldn't leave. He's a good man, Tony, one of the best I've ever met, and if he's given you a chance, don't throw it away."

"I'm not going anywhere," Tony promised nodding to Gibbs who was now glaring at them, "whether he likes it or not."

"Good to hear; it was nice to meet you DiNozzo," Stan said, holding out his hand and Tony shook it.

"You too Burley, call me when you're next in DC, we'll get a beer."

"You've got a deal," Stan said and turned back to the ship, Tony turning towards the waiting plane and his teammates.


	13. Tag to Past, Present, and Future

Short blurb about Tony leaving to find Ziva, with a bit of a slashy twist to it. Ziva is my least favorite character, I'm actually starting to like Bishop more than I ever did Ziva, and I know a lot of people don't like her, but last night when she got into Gibbs face, was amazing. Anyway, this is Tony leaving and just my idea as to why he would go after her, if not because he liked her _that_ way, which in my universe, he doesn't. I'm going to post one hopefully tonight tagging last nights episode, it inspired me, but I have to put finishing touches on it before I put it up. Enjoy.

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><p>"I'm going," Tony says, picking up his bag and heading for the elevator, Gibbs following and Tim watching from the end of the aisle where their desks are.<p>

"To what end?" Gibbs demands.

"I have to find her Jet," is the repeated response and the other man scowls.

"Is there something that is going on between you two that I should know about?" he asks, a question that has been bugging him since Tony said he was going to try to find Ziva.

"No Jet," Tony says, turning back to him, a pained look on his face, "that's not it, I just have to find her, I can't leave it like this."

"With her gone, we're down one person Tony, we can't afford for you to run off to Israel on a wild goose chase. She's not interested in being found."

"Jet, please understand, I have to do this," Tony pleads again, hoping that his lover will let it go and let him do this.

"No, DiNozzo, I don't understand, why-"

"Because we never got to say goodbye to Kate!" Tony nearly shouts and the floor goes silent, almost everyone had turned to watch them, they're argument wasn't quiet and everyone seems stunned, especially Gibbs.

"What?" he asks, shocked by his outburst, barely noting when Tim moved closer.

"We never got to say goodbye Gibbs," Tony says, keeping his eyes on his boss and trying to suppress his emotions, "she was standing right there one second, the next she was gone. Do you ever think that if you knew then what you know now, what you would have said to her?" Gibbs sighs and takes a look around before motioning both Tony and Tim into his 'office', presses the down button and then the stop button a moment later.

"Where is this coming from Tony?" Gibbs asks, his tone softer than its usual brusqueness.

"You never think about it?" the other man asks, looking between the other two, "I don't think about it all the time, but sometimes it just hits me, and I try to analyze if there was something else that could have been done, if we could have saved her somehow. I think about how I would have spent more time with her outside of work, maybe lightened up on the teasing, let her know she was doing a good job more often. She was one of my best friends and I never got to say goodbye, and it bugs the hell out of me."

"I think about it," Tim says quietly and the other two look at him, "I mean, I know I was new to the team, but Kate was a good agent, a great friend."

"Yeah, all right, I think about it too, I think about her and Pacci and all of the others that we lost over the years, unfortunately, death is a risk we take every day in this job," Gibbs points out.

"I know that Gibbs," Tony says, sounding annoyed, "but this isn't Ziva dying, this is her disappearing without a word, without an explanation, if she's dead, we need to know. Mossad says she's missing, but I can't leave it at that, I have to know for sure."

"Tony, if Ziva doesn't want to be found, you're not going to find her."

"I have to try Gibbs," Tony explains, "I can't let her go without knowing why, if there's a valid reason for her to go, then she owes it to us to explain herself. I need to know, it will eat me up inside if I don't, we can't lose another part of our family without a reason. I'll take a week, poke around, and come back if I don't find anything."

"No," Gibbs said and Tony opened his mouth to protest, "take as much time as you need, just check in as much as possible, let me know when you get there."

"Yes boss," Tony said and Tim looked away as Gibbs gives Tony a quick kiss. They ride the elevator down to the lobby and watch Tony leave.

"Do you think he'll find her?" Tim asked.

"I think that if anyone can, it will be Tony," Gibbs says and turns back tot he elevator head back up.


End file.
